for shelby - OMG, after what you went thru, to have your mum be that selfish AS WELL, blimey, OMG.

naenae - those lines sound so familiar, i think our mums are twins

there were other posts i wanted to comment on too, but now i can't remember

my MIL was too far away, too unwell (dementia) to be part of my life when i had bilby
my M was not part of my life when i had bilby, due to her abuse of me, we have no contact

bilby already has asked me, "will you teach me how to be a mummy, when i have a baby? when i grow up?". i hope i can remember when the time comes, as an older mum, i really will be old when she has a child. I hope BB or forums similar, will be happening then.

we are creating our own family, her and me. I don't have a positive role model to copy, so i'm making it up as i go along. all i know is that i have a clear role model of what NOT to do to my child (e.g violence and abusive comments that never leave your head, like a tattoo, as someone else already put). i go thru things everyday, as a result of the abuse i survived as a child (from 6 - 17). I will do everything in my power to make sure my DD doesn't go thru that, and as a result, doesn't have to counter that behaviour, in order to parent herself.

i did not get any M or MIL support when i had bilby, ever. My gift to bilby will be support during pregnancy, during birth and post birth.

sushee - i know there was something in your post that resonated with me, can't recall now.