Things you never thought you would have to say as a parent

[Jakabella]

"take the 2 Nurofen plungers out of your nose!"

[~Kaz~]

"I don't think you'll ever be able to lick your own penis mate, no matter how hard you try (pause) yes I know it's disappointing but that's just the way it is"

Bonus points for keeping a straight face while I said it even though I was doing these ones inside