Another from the other day:

"Sweetie, I know you're just trying to help but next time you do a poo in your knickers, come and get me. Please don't roll it out onto the floor then scoop it up in a tissue" (said to DD1 as she handed me a fresh 'steamer' in a tissue )
OMG, sorry, I can imagine how horrid it was but that is absolutely hilarious!