For those who have children of only one sex

[Phteven]

Before DS2 was born I thought I didn't really want any daughters but I surprised myself after DS2 was born by feeling very sad that I would never have one. I actually found myself tearing up in shopping centres when I saw mothers and daughters (especially older daughters) shopping together. I don't really feel sad that I will never have a little girl but I do sometimes feel sad that I will never share the bond that my mother and I had when I was older with a daughter of my own. I also feel kind of sad that I will never be able to pass all my jewelry to my own daughter.
I certainly don't feel enough yearning for a daughter to go back and try for number 3 although for a while I wanted to.
TBH it would cause a lot of stress in my marriage if we had a daughter. DH is Afghan and whilst he's ok with a pretty non-traditional wife I think he would revert to type if he had a daughter. He might surprise me but I don't really want to put it to the test.

[AngelPants]

I have only DS atm but if I never have a girl I think I would be disappointed but not devastated. Mainly cos i have 3 sisters and a bro and us girls have such a different relationship with each other and our parents that I feel like I would be missing out.

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[Lenny]

I have two boys and that's fine with me. Dh wanted a girl, but not enough to let me have 3 children.
I would be happy with 3 (or 4 ) boys, but that's just me and perhaps after TTC for so long i was just thrilled to have children.
I don't know what it's like to have a girl and probably never will, but i don't feel any sadness at all about that.

We're all different and have different 'pictures' of how we see our family. I think 2 boys is great - for me. It's ok if it's not for everyone.

[EsJay]

Not at all. This will be my second girl and DH's third. I'm slightly disappointed for him, to not be getting a son to do all the male things with, but as he said hes ok with 3 healthy perfect girls. I have 2 step sisters, so maybe coming from growing up with only sisters has contributed to this, as im not really sure of how to do anything with boys, and maybe not feeling done yet helps me feel this way too? but nope, not in the slightest.

[Heaven]

I have 2 girls and am more than happy with it. I always wanted a girl, I wanted DD1 to be a girl, and I was so greedy that I hoped DD2 would be a girl too, even though I thought she was a boy. I never had a sister and always wanted one and I knew I would be so disappointed not to have a daughter. All I feel is relieved that I have my girls I wanted. We are planning on have 2 more though and I guess chances are I will have a boy some time so I haven't worried about it yet. I would be happy with another girl next, I have a name ready already, lol. If I didn't end up having a boy I would be a bit disappointed but more so for DH than myself.

[Ginger]

i absolutely love having two boys. wouldn't change it for anything. they get on like a house on fire, even though they are totally different. we can pass down clothes, toys etc. they like watching the same tv shows. its awesome.
we are not having any more kids, but if we were i would actually want another boy. nothing against girls, of course, i just love having only boys.

[MummyNaomi]

I think this baby will be boy #2, Both DH and I are slightly more in favour of having a girl, however we are totally excited about having a boy as well. DS however has other ideas and tells everyone and us repeatedly that he is having a baby sister (he will be the one struggling with gender disappointment LOL) - after battling infertility we aren't about to get choosy, just being lucky enough to have a child (and now a second) is good enough for us.

I would like to have a daughter of course, but if I don't, I will just work extra hard on having meaningful and loving relationships with my future daughter in laws

[megs]

I have all boys, and yes somedays I do wish that I had a girl. Not so much for the being able to buy pink things, but more so for later on to have that mother/daughter relationship. Plus I dread being only the MIL, that being said I live near my MIL and see far more of her than my own mother. So who knows what will happen down the track.

I must say how lovely it has been to read this thread and to see women who have only boys and are happy. All then time (esepcially since the birth of my 4th son) I just get pity from people, it is like having boys is the worst thing on the world. My boys are actually great friends, they can be noisy (but I'm sure so can girls) but they get along really really well. So I find it so upsetting that people feel the need to pity me because I have 4 beautiful sons. Just an observation I'm not sure if people of all girls feel the same.

[*EJ*]

I have 2 boys and 1 girl.

I pretty much expected to have a boy when pregnant with DS1 as boys were so dominant in our family. Then when i was pregnant with DS2 i was unsure whether or not to expect another boy or if we'd be lucky enough (i really do consider those to have one of each really lucky) to have one of each. However i think deep down both DH and I were hoping for another boy, which at the 20 week scan we found out we were having.

For me personaly my reasoning was that i'd had such a rocky relationship with my mother growing up i was very nervous about having my own daughter and i think for DH it was just that he was worried about having a daughter and protecting her.

So having two boys DH and i were extremely happy and when the talk of having anymore children came about we had pretty much agreed that we were more happy than we could ever hope for with 2 boys. To a certain extent it wasn't even about the genders it was the fact that we were blessed with two healthy children.

So when we unexpectedly fell preganant with DD we had mixed emotions.

But jump to where we are now and i am thrilled to have a daughter, she is so precious and absolutely completes our family more than we could have ever hoped for. We thought we were happy before but now i know we are really really happy.

I know for some there are other factors to take into account but for me children are blessing full stop.

[Freya]

*This may be a little sensitive for some*
Do you feel you have missed out by not having experienced a child of each sex? Do you get past it? Do you feel sad?

I'm pretty sure I'm having another girl (our second) and not sure whether I would be prepared to try for a third. It's funny, cos I have actually really wanted a second girl the whole time, but it occurred to me tonight that if I don't have a boy, I may never, and that has made me feel, I dunno, a bit of a yearning to have a boy I guess?

I have 3 boys. I do feel like Im missing out on experiencing a girl. Parenting a girl vs boy IS different, no matter what anyone says. I think you can learn to live with it, I dont think I'll ever be "past it". I feel sad that I wont get that mother-daughter bond, but I feel more sad that the boys desperately want a little sister and 99% likely will get another brother. I think the hardest thing Ive ever heard from my 5yo is "Why does everyone else get brothers AND sisters and I get only brothers. I want both!", I mean really how do you explain that logic to a kid?

It would be the same if my boys were girls. Everyone on both sides of our family have mixed sex. Dh has a sister and I have a sister and brother. All our friends have atleast one of each plus the bonuses. So all my boys see is everyone they know having boys AND girls. I guess I can understand that as I never really remotely contemplated that we would have 3 or 4 of one gender in our parenting journey; I always imagined in 4 kids having both.

[Glamourcide]

Yep. I feel ripped off at having only girls and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Coming from a huge family of pigeon pairs (both mum's and dad's sides of the family all have at least two kids, girl first, then boy), I guess I just assumed that it would be that way for me. I only ever wanted two, but any consideration of a third has gone out the window because we're statistically more likely to have another girl than a boy - I won't risk it.
As Freya said, no matter what anybody says, parenting is different for both genders, and I'm sad that I've missed out on raising a son. I love that my girls have a sister who is their best friend and their worst enemy (unfortunately my brother and I missed out on the 'friend' bit, we still don't spend much time together even as adults), but I'm sad for myself. And it annoys me that people are so sympathetic... to my DH. Yes, poor DH lives in a house full of females and never got a boy who he could work on cars with, throw a ball to or take fishing. Except he's not fussed at all, our daughters are such Daddy's girls and he wouldn't have them any other way. Nor would I, I do love them to bits and wouldn't change them for all the world, now that I have them... but I wanted a son as well as a daughter.

[delphmoon]

I have 2 beautiful girls and although I would like to have a boy I definitely dont feel ripped off. I am forever grateful for my children


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[LuluHB]

I must say how lovely it has been to read this thread and to see women who have only boys and are happy. All then time (esepcially since the birth of my 4th son) I just get pity from people, it is like having boys is the worst thing on the world. My boys are actually great friends, they can be noisy (but I'm sure so can girls) but they get along really really well. So I find it so upsetting that people feel the need to pity me because I have 4 beautiful sons. Just an observation I'm not sure if people of all girls feel the same.

I have to agree with this. It really frustrates me that people make comments about my girls, and especially now I'm pregnant again - the number of comments I get from family, friends and strangers all along the lines of hoping for a boy this time because we couldn't possibly want another girl. That people could consider my daughters anything other than perfect purely due to their sex makes me angry.

[*EJ*]

I often had to say when pregnant with DD that it's not about trying for a girl (it really wasn't as she was a pleasent surprise) but i just smile and nod when i got those kind of assumptions. Like i said in my original post i was more than happy if were to be a family with 2 sons.

[kelsbels]

It is lovely to read and I'm sure I won't be disappointed! truly, my dd is my best friend, I absolutely adore her and she is such a tomboy, fishing with dad etc so I don't think ill feel I'm missing out in that way. I will prob feel a bit bad for hubby as I know he would love a son, but considering girls are dominant in his family, the odds are stacked against us, lol.

I'm also a bit concerned I will feel pressured to have a third if this one is another girl but I guess we'll cross that bridge if we come to it.

[Freya]

Yep. I feel ripped off at having only girls and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Coming from a huge family of pigeon pairs (both mum's and dad's sides of the family all have at least two kids, girl first, then boy), I guess I just assumed that it would be that way for me. I only ever wanted two, but any consideration of a third has gone out the window because we're statistically more likely to have another girl than a boy - I won't risk it.
As Freya said, no matter what anybody says, parenting is different for both genders, and I'm sad that I've missed out on raising a son. I love that my girls have a sister who is their best friend and their worst enemy (unfortunately my brother and I missed out on the 'friend' bit, we still don't spend much time together even as adults), but I'm sad for myself. And it annoys me that people are so sympathetic... to my DH. Yes, poor DH lives in a house full of females and never got a boy who he could work on cars with, throw a ball to or take fishing. Except he's not fussed at all, our daughters are such Daddy's girls and he wouldn't have them any other way. Nor would I, I do love them to bits and wouldn't change them for all the world, now that I have them... but I wanted a son as well as a daughter.

Funny you mention sympathy! I find it ironic and slightly weird that people can be sympathetic to a man without a son................but as a woman without a daughter I get buckleys sympathy and usually just harsh judgement if Im honest about my yearning for a girl. IMO its the same thing! Especially when I feel society puts such a huge prize on the mother-daughter relationship.

Your right Kels, in the end you will be happy with your baby! I love my boys dearly, especially my youngest who I suffered pretty severe gender disappointment with while I was pregnant. He's even probably the one Im closest to! Those of us who feel disappointed at lost opportunities (either badly or mildly) arent monsters who dont love their kids, quite the opposite.

[wysiwyg]

That people could consider my daughters anything other than perfect purely due to their sex makes me angry.

I totally agree with this (ok I do have one of each but prior to DS got all sorts of strange comments, from DD's ultrasound where the technician said to DH "and how do you feel about having a girl - very pointedly - to when we found out about DS saying to DH the technician saying that must make you really happy). It really does puzzle me as to why people so often assume you must have a desire to have one of each, and that women will want daughters and men will want sons - granted for some that is how it is, but as Lenny eleqountely put it

We're all different and have different 'pictures' of how we see our family. I think 2 boys is great - for me. It's ok if it's not for everyone.

[Nai]

I have 2 girls and couldn't be happier. I am an only child but always wanted a sister so my girls have what I always wished for. Dp loves it too, he has always been better at relating to girls than boys so he is happy. He gets the try for a boy comments and responds with " why would I want to do that "