Feeb, my ds is almost the same age so I am sending you some sympathy! He is in our bed without fail every night, but isn't having milk, he also has a massive temper which was a big suprise after having a reasonably easy going dd!

Some things that I try when he gets into his destructo mood (as I like to call it!) are:

* give him some food in case it's because he is getting hungry, he prefers to eat small meals more frequently and doesn't have the attention span to sit through a whole meal with dd and I so I usually forget he hasn't had as much to eat as we have
* talk to him, like really get down and talk to him like we are having a completely normal conversation like I would with DD who is 4 1/2, this seems to work with him, I think because he is not only getting my complete attention but because he feels like he is getting what he wants across
* ask him to carry out a task, my ds loves to follow directions and will stop whatever he is doing when you ask him to do something that has a bit of a challenge, or involves the garbage bin!
* put him to bed, if nothing else is working he is likely to be tired!