I think your DS is among the average of what 3yo's can be like for eating. For me, I don't think I could send any child to bed who has not had food since midday, so by the looks of it there was some bad timing there with starting to be stricter with not eating dinner.
One thing to try, which is more what we do with our eldest, it to put the plate in the fridge. If they are hungry later, that evening they can eat off their plate. Of course I don't mean go to the extremes of serving up for breakfast or anything like that, just the hour or so after dinner. Sometimes I just found our DD1 would not touch much of dinner, then be hungry 20 minutes later and happy to eat some then.
It is so hard, I know how you feel there. I think keep consistent with what happens with dinner, but just make sure he is having a snack of the afternoon.
I find with Pip, even now, that he will sometimes not eat cause he wants (i think?) the attention he used to get when he was younger - so I will feed him with his fork etc. And then he knows that I won't take him out to cafes while shopping (which is "us" time) unless he has good manners. So we've a kind of truce happening. Other things we try is giving DH a bite of Pip's food, or me - that tends to make him upset!
Thanks everyone, you have helped me feel more confident in persisting to get him to eat his dinner. I just never had these sort of problems with DD. She has always been a reasonable eater!
I will be making a yummy breaky for him tomorrow! Maybe some french toast (the only way I can get eggs into him!).....
We used to have dinner earlier, at 5/5.30, but I thought because he usually sleeps from 1-3.30ish, that a 5.30 dinner was too soon after their snack, and I didn't want to not give them a snack after their sleeps! So I just made dinner that little bit later, and it suits DH and I better too.
He does help with shopping and sometimes with cooking. I should get him into the kitchen more I suppose, I don't because he can be so airy fairy though, he finds it hard to listen and concerntrate for very long, very easily distracted by the silliest, smallest things...the attention span of a fly (I can see his school reports now)!
I have tried negotiating with him too, pretending to 'steal' his food...feeding him...bribery...all of it! If DH or I eat his food though, he thinks that's good and often asks us to eat it. I think he thinks if it's gone, then that's what we want, it doesn't matter that it wasn't him that ate it! But if he decides he's not eating there is nothing in this world that will make him choose to eat it! As for an underlying issue...I have never thought of that! I think he may have had reflux when he was tiny, I could never get my GP to officially diagnose it, but figured he grew out of it because he settled at about 6ish months. He could have it I suppose, and just not know how to tell me. I do get it and DH's brother has it really badly (requiring surgery). But how would I know?
I keep his food on the table for him for at least an hour. Generally meal times are for about 30-45mins where I want them to sit and participare in family time and the meal, though DS1 is often up and down and goes to play with a train here and fluff about with something else there for a minute or two (as I said, attention span of a fly!). After that his food will just stay on the plate and he can go back to it if he wants (DD used to do this and would often finish a meal before she went to bed, but just a tiny bit at a time over an hour or so). Uless it's something that will go really horrible in that time, I don't bother putting it into the fridge. Then the kids start their bed time routine at 7ish- brush teeth, get comfort toys, faff about diong what ever they do before bed, then stories a few songs sung and it's sleepy time. So if we eat at 6ish, finish at about 6.45, then his food is left until about 7ish which is when I clear the table anyhow. Then it gets thrown out.
Just wanted to mention too, I didn't find out that he hadn't eaten since midday until it was about 15mins before bed time for him. DH and I had persisted for so long that he needed to eat his dinner that I didn't want to go back and say 'Oh, ok, here eat this...'and give him an apple or something because he wouldn't have understood that the only reason I had given him food was because it had been so long sing he's eaten. DH told me after he put him to sleep, that DS1 had eaten a few (small) mandarines (maybe 2) off the tree this afternoon at about 5pm, so that could explain why he didn't eat. But still two small mandarines is by no means enough food for anyone! I think that was the main reason for my tears. He must have been so hungry the poor little bugger. But maybe that might teach him he should eat his dinner! Gosh I hope we don't have such a terrible time tomorrow.....
Last edited by MrsFabuloso; June 16th, 2011 at 10:11 PM.
I try not to fuss if they don't eat their dinner (don't always succeed).
Breakfast is the really important meal of the day and from a health perspective we should eat like a king at breakfast and a pauper at dinner. Sometimes I think that our children's instincts tell them how to eat correctly (lots of breakfast, snacks through the day and a tiny dinner) and we spend our time training them to ignore their instincts and eat the way we have become used to.
If you focus on making sure that he has a hearty breakfast and access to a variety of healthy snacks during the day then it's no biggy if he doesn't eat much at dinner.
It's tough when they dig their heels in like that. But it is true that no kid will ever starve themselves - and you're doing really well leaving his dinner accessible for him to go back to but not giving in and giving him fruit as an alternative. Keep being consistent, keep offering new foods and variety without making it a big deal.
And it is worth it in the long run, fussy kids miss out on the fun stuff associated with food, the messy and tasty beauty of it.
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good luck
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