When my babies were little and I was losing my temper I would do the following.

1. Stop and take a deep breath.
2. Speak calmly and softly.
3. Have a plan... if xyz continues you know in your head what you will do.
4. If there is something you do not want them to do give them an alternative.
5. If you need to take another deep breath.
6. Phone a friend and walk around the backyard.

What I would not do.

1. Yell.
2. Snap.
3. Ignore them.

And the BIGGEST way to retain my patience was positive reinforcement. Praise them for their good behaviour. If listening is a problem praise them for listening even if it's something as simple as you ask them to pass you something and they do it. Point out that they listened, and it makes you happy and you are proud of them. This is an example of what you want. When kids push the boundaries to the point of us losing our temper in most cases it's not because they are defiant, or obnoxious it's because they do not know what you want. Praise doesn't have to be overdone but it is important. Think of it as constructive feedback. We expect this on a daily basis from our friends, family, partners and bosses yet we don't offer it as freely to our children because we've been given the impression we can "over praise". Awareness is important.

Another thing to help with patience is this. You've been on this earth for x amount of years. You have learnt a million more things in your long life than your little ones. So imagine if you woke up one day and you couldn't use your legs, you had no control over your bodily functions, everyone was speaking a language you couldn't even understand, the customs were unfamiliar to you, you had no power in the choices in your life and you couldn't even feed yourself. Would you want someone to be patient with you as you learnt everything? Or would you want someone to lose their temper. And how frustrated do you think you'd be if you couldn't communicate what you wanted on a second by second basis. If you didn't understand your emotions and had no way of an outlet. This is what it is like to be a child. We think it's hard for us, but we never consider how amazing we are as humans that we can learn all these things, we may take a while to do it, but we can do it. But we do need help, patience and a good example.