What do you do when your 2 year old has a tantrum

[sloane]

I think it depends on the child and what the tantrum is over. Sometimes I just sit next to DS without talking (because talking often makes him worse). Sometimes (at home) I will walk away - for eg he hasn't napped yesterday and was tired and emotional by dinnertime. He was half hanging off his chair and wanted his knife...then didn't want his knife etc. when we'd finished we calmly told him we were leaving the table and went to sit down. After a while he came for cuddles. Sometimes I just suit him on my knee and cuddle him.

I always give him a cuddle afterwards though and tell him that I love him. You can see with a lot of his meltdowns that he doesn't want to be that upset but the build up of emotion is too much to control.

I did also read one technique where you repeat what they want/are saying if you can catch it in,the early stages. The theory being that they then slow down or stop because they see that you're actually hearing what they're saying. Then once they're calm you explain (in very simple words) why not or why you can't etc. it has worked with ds a few times.

to you. They can be very draining and so hard to stay calm yourself.

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[Calluna]

I wouldn't "ignore"exactly, but acknowledge her feelings (I can see you are angry/sad because... I am here if/when you are ready for a cuddle) then just stay near by and wait it out, reminding her occasionally they you are available for a cuddle if she wants one.

It depends on the kind if tantrum too, if it's more physical I'd give her space but if it's emotional I'd hold her until she calms down.

It's hard because everyones child reacts differently, I think you just need to do what feels right and be open to trying new things when, inevitably, the old tactics stop working.

[Snacks]

First, you need to acknowledge that it's your kid's way of expressing themself and regardless of your parenting style/philosophy, emotional outbursts are just a way of life. My GP recently helped me out by telling me that these are an evolutionary thing. We're a tribal species, like those animals that live in herds. She said when a young zebra's parents aren't paying attention to it it's more likely to get eaten. So kids do things to make us pay attention to them, just like a zebra who needs to be protected by it's parents. She said the next time you are having trouble staying calm with an emotional outburst, remember the baby zebra who needs protecting

I find the tantrum is never as bad if *my* head is in a good place, KWIM? So if you can stay calm you are more likely to be able to know how best to deal with it.

The biggest precursor to tanties in our house is lack of sleep (for everyone, adults included, lol!). If it's happening A LOT then I'd wonder if a change in routine is in order (we have recently started making sure DD who is 5 gets into bed at an earlier hour because her temper is so much shorter if she hasn't slept well).

GL!