I honestly don't know. I had people I thought I could count on, who were a part of our village. But it turned out I was wrong. There are few people I could honestly consider part of my village. Sadly, most of them are hundreds of kilometers away. There are a couple locally but that is about it. I find that too many people put conditions on helping - which (to me) contradicts the village idea. Or take advantage of me/us - taking but never reciprocating. Or judging me/us - which again isn't conducive to the village concept. But if I ever needed someone to pick up one of my kids, or needed someone to help me because DH was in an accident or whatever, I can honestly say I can count on one hand the number of people who would help. That doesn't mean I don't have fantastic friends who love me - it just means everyone is so busy running their own races that they don't take time to foster the village. And I guess that's ok. We make do with what we have. But I live in hope that one day, I will be a part of a village that we can help, can help us, and that makes us feel like our best is ok - not that we are never good enough.
And like Rogue, I don't rely on school as part of my village. It just takes the kids to have a falling out or for someone to move for everything to dissolve like sugar in hot water.
I've been thinking about this all day. I hadn't considered keeping friendships separate to the village... Interesting. I'd sort of thought part of the village is keeping mummy same, but I can see now another side of it, friendships that I treasure that I could continue, outside my kids. If that makes sense.
I also think I need to not pin so much hope on school... I've already witnessed DD being quite fickle with her friendships so that could all go pear-shaped too. Hmm.
I take heart from the fact that people's villages seem to change with time... Maybe that's where I'm at now. A period of change.
Who and what makes up your village?
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