A bit of backstory here: T has always been 'higher needs' - I don't mean that in the same way as say, autism/spectrum or having anxiety issues (because you parents who deal with that are awesome and this is nothing compared to that). I just mean she's always wanted lots of cuddles, lots of attention, and I've always done a lot of those, and still do. And she's had BIG separation anxiety which we're getting over, finally.

I've also tried to get her to play by herself and work things out on her own so that I can, you know, go to the toilet without her having a meltdown.

Some days she will happily play for a bit with S, or even on her own, doing puzzles or playing with blocks, but recently she's just been standing at the baby gate, begging for food (when I know she's not hungry) and throwing tantrums if she doesn't get it, or wanting to go outside which is fine as long as it's not really hot, or 6.30 in the morning... she has one volume, and I would like to remain on speaking terms with our neighbours. When she gets outside, she wants me there with her, or if she does play by herself, it's for about five minutes before she wants to come in again.

What drives me crazy is the constant: "Mummeee! What you doing?" "Mummeee! Want something to eat!" "Mummeee! What you doing?" "Mummeee! Mummeee! Mummeee!" ad infinitum.

When I suggest for her to play with something, or suggest something else for her to do it's like the end of the world and she's very contrary eg "Would you like an apple?" - "No! Can't want an apple! pause I WANT APPLE!!" *sigh*

I'm trying to praise good listening and when she's playing on her own I catch her doing it and praise that, and I just want her to get to a point where I'm going to be able to actually sit with the baby without her screaming and throwing tantrums because it's not her there.

Everything is a drama, you know? And she has such a short attention span... not that I'm expecting her to sit down and watch a three-hour documentary or anything. Tell me it's just a phase. Please! Or if not, what do I do?