5 month old cries alot and hardly sleeps

[sue1386]

5 month old

cries alot and
hardly sleeps
never longer than 40 minutes at a time
wants to be held all the time

if there are people who have read
sleeping like a baby
100 ways to calm your baby
the contented baby,
please can you tell me a bit of what they said as i dont beleive i can read at this point
are there dvds or cds as they may be easier to listen to or watch than reading books.

i've looked through the forums and found hints that can help

rock them back to sleep when they awaken after 40 minutes
controlled crying
solids may help to have better sleep
allergy testing and other formulas may help if allergies are a cause
various things to help if colic is a problem.
dummies
swings walks slings music singing

music nature kids dvds
ACUPUNCTURE
choropractor
white noise

what age can i try an activity centre that is like the old type of walkers where they sit in and play with toys around it,
or whqta age can i use a jolly jumper
or the ring that helps babies sit up with toys to play with.

i he might play with toys a few minutes on his back
or with his feet
or is happy on walks usually but i cant walk and walk all day
may be happy in the swing a bit

i have tried many things but my baby cries alot and wants to be held all day
i have had to wave a different toy in front of him every minute
or hold him alot
he doesnt sleep much
he doesnt seem to concentrate or play much on his own like most of my friends babies do he just cries wanting a new toy waved in front of him every 30 seconds
he hates baby dvds, while my friends babies will often enjoy them in the background and feel happy.

also can i have hints for getting them used to a babysitter as he is very aware and just wants mum
how long and often would you suggest it takes to get used to a babysitter
whats the best way to achieve him getting used to a babysitter.
and other hints to help please

HELP PLEASE.

[Trillian]

OK first I would be looking into the possibility of reflux - that can make babies scream in pain and also make sleeping up to ****. Also liking to be held upright all the time makes the pain ease for them. Please do not try Controlled crying because he already cries and doesn't sleep so it simply would not work, not to mention making a bad situation worse. Solids may help, but at this stage they are more likely to make the situation worse as well if the problem is a medical one. I would take him to your GP for some tests to rule out a medical cause and also take him to either a Chiro, osteo or a Bowen therapist as there could be an underlying musculo-skeletal issue that is causing him pain. Another thing I would highly suggest you get is a carrier or a wrap - either a Mei-tai or a hug-a-bub so that you can still hold him through the day and keep him upright but you can also keep going about your day as well. This may also help him get some much needed sleep too.

At this age they don't have the attention span for DVD's /TV so don't worry about that part of it. Not all babies like to be on the floor - either belly or back as they feel exposed and insecure kwim?

I really hope that you are able to find out what the issue is so you can start to enjoy your little boy and he can get some more sleep because I'm sure that is taking it's toll on you as well

[Oorki Galoorki]

.....

[skeetaboat]

You poor thing, you sound desperate and exhausted. Is bub only sleeping 40 mins at night too? You must be seriously sleep-deprived if so.

Trillian has given you some good advice about what may be causing him to be unsettled & what to do about it, so I'll try to answer some of your other questions. I would definitely second Trillian's suggestion for a mei tai or a hug-a-bub. I have a HAB and it has been fantastic for settling my unsettled bub and allowing me to have my arms free and move around.

I used the jolly jumper from about 4-5 months onwards, and the saucer that they stand up in from about 5 months too. Both are great for occupying bubs for twenty mins while you catch a shower or do the dishes.

Regarding a babysitter, it depends if bubs is already familiar with the sitter. I would highly recommend asking someone both you and bubs know and trust over a stranger. But if you can't get help from someone you know, pick someone who is congruent with your parenting style and who YOU like. Then you might want to have whomever it is come over for a few afternoons chatting and getting to know you and bubs. He will be much better with someone he feels safe, comfortable and familiar with. If bubs gets distressed when you leave him with the babysitter, start out for short periods and work up to a longer seperation. Go out for 15 mins, then 20, then 30, then 45, then an hour, and so on. How long it takes is hard for anyone to predict, just follow bubs lead.

It sounds like you really need a break and it's totally understandable that you need a break.

Try not to compare your baby to other babies. They're all different and what other babies are doing doesn't help you figure out what's best for YOUR baby, it just makes you stress and worry that your baby isn't 'normal', when really there is no 'normal'. Babies have their own personalities and temperaments, just like we all do. Some babies are what's called 'high needs' - they do just need to be cuddled, held and comforted more than others, and are more easily upset and unsettled, more sensitive to stimuli, etc. It sounds like your baby could fall in this 'category' (for want of a better word) I'd recommend the ask doctor sears website (google it) for tips on settling a high needs baby. Controlled crying or cry it out techniques are definitely not recommended for high needs. Generally, whatever will settle bubs quickest and easiest is what's recommended. Sometimes it takes quite a bit of experimentation to figure out what works best for your high-needs baby. For some a soothing lullaby while rocking is great, for others the noise unsettles them more.

Goodluck. I hope you're able to find some solutions and get a rest yourself. It's really important to care for yourself too. Do you have support from a partner/friends/family?

[Nelle]

I think I remember you saying you have adult children? Perhaps your bub is used to them and they can watch bub for a bit if you need?

[Lolli]

Hun, not knowing where you live, but have you tried Karitane or Tresillian (are you in Australia?) They are not something I'd normally recommend, but you sound very desperate. Karitane has a 24 hour help hotline, you can talk to a nurse who will help you out. Contrary to popular belief , they can provide a lot of solutions and suggestions that don't include crying it out. And if nothing else, they are a friendly voice at the end of the phone. One of my good friends swears by them. I'll PM you the number.

[sue1386]

thanks so much thats all very helpful

anyhelplines are very welcome helplines would be great

the babysitter is someone new

fromvarious other threads there seem to be lots of ideas
use a dummy
have a kids dvd in the background playschool etc
change formula
allergy testing
sleep school
chiro or similar
naturopath
acupuncture
sling, swing , activity centre, jolly jumper, music,
ways to get them back to sleep after 40 minutes

that seem to change a tired and hi need baby to a happier baby so all the ideas possible are welcome