BEWARE - sleep advice from the 'experts' MAY BE DISTRESSING
WARNING = THIS POST CONTAINS DISTURBING MATERIAL AND MAY BE UPSETTING TO SOME
This is a bit of a vent post! I have been having lots of trouble with DD sleeping of late - since her wonderful arrival into this world I have not got up less than twice a night and last few nights it has been hourly (even with her in bed with us for half of the night). However, I would rather be up all night than to follow the advice given to some people i know. The first two examples below are directly from my close friends, the third awful horrifying story is a friend of a friend and they are all recent!
1. A mother of twin boys went to a leading paediatrician in adelaide and was told 'now what you need to do is to put a lock on their bedroom door - lock them in at 7 pm at night and do not go back until 7 am in the morning'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. A mother of a six month old who has always had issues with sleep such that only way baby can get to sleep is by mum cuddling him (even after two weeks in a place called torrens house where they help with sleep/feeding issues) was told by another leading paediatrician that he should now be sleeping through the night so give him a top up feed and then go back after 5 hours no matter what (even if he screams/cries etc)!!!!!!!
3. A mother of a six month old girl went to a sleep doctor in adelaide and was told to give baby a top up feed and then do not go back into nursery for seven hours NO MATTER WHAT!!! Well unfortunately the parents followed this advice, the baby screamed for seven hours and when they went to baby after SEVEN hours the cot was covered in poo and vomit - no the baby cries whenever going near her cot!!!
I could not get to sleep last night thinking about that poor baby and cannot believe this is the advice given by some experts in this day and age. Surely these practices constitute child abuse - I wouldn't treat my dog like that let alone another human being.
So please beware if you are seeking expert advice on sleep issues and instead follow your heart and your own intuition
That is blooming awful! I cannot believe these people were advised to lock the door and not go back in. I would be traumatised let alone how traumatic it would be on bub. The poor little girl who is now afraid of her cot. I really don't know how the parents could have held out for 7 hours of crying and screaming. I bet they feel terrible after what they saw when they went back in.
Awww, I just want to give these babies (and parents) a big hug. We have sleeping troubles here too with our youngest needing to be rocked to sleep each time but no way I could leave her locked in a room
Hun, OMG at that advice And the last one is just too awful for words, that poor little bubba how could they do that??!!
As you know we are having much the same issues as you with E's sleep, but I would be absolutely not prepared to do any of that and even if I was DH would not let me! Thank goodness he is so good that he will take E when she won't settle and I have just had it.
And BTW, I was told by the nurse that did our vax at 4 months that I could let her CIO now And just had our 6 month vax last week and had her tell me that again plus a whole bunch of other garbage....but that's a whole other vent
That is disgusting! How are these people called 'experts' . I agree I wouldn't treat my dog like that either. Those poor bubbas who have to go through it.
Wow!
That last one brought tears to my eyes.
SO sad for that poor bubba.
I haven't had a full nights sleep in 15 mths. My DD still wakes at least 3 times a night.
Yes I am tired and grumpy and sometimes at 3am I ask "Why can you not just sleep!" but I suck it up and get on with it. She is just the type of kid that needs a cuddle at 3am to feel safe and loved.
Just because someone has a medical degree does not make them all knowing. I wish people would trust themselves more. It must have been heartbreaking for those parents to listen to their baby cry for seven hours.
As much as I dislike some forms of sleep training I am a big believer that if they are to be done they should be done in a supervised situation like a sleep school so things like this do not happen.
oh those poor mums, dads and bubs!
i just want to give them *all* a huge, huge hug!
and a swift kick up the bum to the people who suggested such horrable things to do
in hospital with DS at 2 months i was told that he could be patted to sleep and he only needed a feed after 4hrs. they then tired to pat him off to sleep and the nurse who was doing it was "trained in making babies sleep" i screamed at her like a banchee (as you do after listening to your bubba cry for an hour) and told her that its my BABY she was patting not my cat.
and FWIW - DS at 5 months started teething so was up every 2hrs. now its started again at 13 months with teething/developmental leaps.
OMG I shouldn't have read that. That is just absolutely horrific!!!!!!!!!! Why would they tell someone to leave their baby alone for 7 hrs no matter what???? That is ridiculous!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks everyone for replying - glad i am not the only one who is absolutely horrified by all this.
Dansta - yes I think DD is probably teething which might explain why her sleep is so bad at the moment. Have tried teething gel and panadol but that hasn't made any difference. Did you find anything that helped with your DSs sleep at that stage? Oh and good on you for telling off that silly nurse (i had a chuckle about the patting the cat thing - so true (i might use that one next time I get that advise from the CAFS nurses!)
Sorry if my post has upset anyone - I just felt that it is important to post - even if it saved one baby from having to go through that it is worth it.
OMG....wow, thats really bad advice. I bet if these so called medical experts were terribly upset about something and were crying and sobbing and thier wives/friends were in the next room and didnt go to help them/talk to them they would be angry and upset that no one showed they cared....why is a baby different! Id like to lock them in a room! grrrr!
Im with you on the sleep dep too....DD is nearly 20 months old and i havent had more than about 4 hours sleep in one go since she was born.....but i couldnt take that advice no matter how hard it got! Now she is a talker she will wake up and tell me what she needs, weather its cold/hot/juice/boobie/cuddles/scared etc.....how could i deny her any of those things!? thats all she wanted as a baby but couldnt vocalise it....so that makes it ok to ignore those needs???
That is just disgraceful and quite upsetting. That poor, poor baby who was left in a cot in her own poo and vomit. I just cannot believe it. Good to hear that the first two mums ignored the advice though. I am a bit stunned to be honest, especially that paediatricians are giving this kind of advice.
That last story really upset me I cant' believe these 'experts' tell these parents this BUT I also can't believe some parents can actually follow thru with it?!? How can they actually listen to their baby's cries/screams for that long??? That would be unbearable and so stressful.
What happened to 'experts' telling mothers to follow their instincts and if it doesnt' feel right then don't do it?!?! I understand parents get desperate.... it's really hard and tiring when your LO won't sleep! We know what that's like....
I watched Pinky on tv the other morning on Kerri Anne show.... she made some excellent points (as usual ) about parenting and how more parents need to be in tune with their babies and hold them instead of forcing them to sleep etc.....
I just lay down with my DD for 1hr to get her to sleep.... she crawled all over me, mucked about etc but I just stayed with her until she was asleep..... much more relaxing for me as the parent too as I got to lie down and have a rest
I had a paed at a sleep school tell me that it was OK for her to scream until she vomitted if that's what it took....she was a mum of 4.
Needless to say her credibility took a nose dive, as did the sleep school and we left. It was private too so people actually pay to go there.
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BEWARE - sleep advice from the 'experts' MAY BE DISTRESSING
And the last one is just too awful for words, that poor little bubba
And just had our 6 month vax last week and had her tell me that again plus a whole bunch of other garbage....but that's a whole other vent
. I agree I wouldn't treat my dog like that either. Those poor bubbas who have to go through it.
I understand parents get desperate.... it's really hard and tiring when your LO won't sleep! We know what that's like....
) about parenting and how more parents need to be in tune with their babies and hold them instead of forcing them to sleep etc.....
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