thanks for your input everyone. i did choose to put this in the general discussion forum though and not the gentle parenting area so as to minimise the 'debate'. each parent/child/family is different and i guess have the right to choose which ways they will interact with eachother.

i know with DD1 i could NOT have put her down and let her cry for an amount of time because she couldnt handle it. she would cry REALLY hysterically and make herself gag and vomit etc and then be EVEN HARDER to settle so the situation with DD2 is just different. she does cry but its not the same as DD1 did IYKWIM??

i just thought that since she cries anyway i would put her down and it would save a lot of dramas in the future getting her to sleep independantly. i forgot about the recommendation that it shouldnt be done til 6months of age though. and i do understand the 'better to comfort bub even though she is crying when being rocked' but it is kind of frustrating! :-/

i think i might get a book from the library and do it properly. has anyone tried the book 'Save our sleep?

oh and i tried goin back in and patting for a minute like you suggested Miss Excited but she just cries and doesnt settle at all when i go in. i think its better when i just leave her be. i havent left her for longer than 10 mins though, and i have only really done it a few times.