Good behavior charts?

[BekZ]

Hi Everyone,


Do these behavior charts work? I am concerned about promoting a expectation that she'll need to be rewarded for what I think are simple everyday tasks or manners.

On the flip side her little attitude is becoming very obstinent (sp?)and she is pushing the boundaries constantly. I've also noticed that she is not sharing well with others .

Any advice is welcome

[Rainbow_Mumma]

Behaviour charts worked wonders for us because combined with the reward we also took away if she didnt follow the rules.
I think every child is different to whether they respond to a chart so if you decide to do it best of luck to you and the reward doesnt have to be a toy or something to "spoil" them I was worried about that when I started charting then a friend suggested to keep it simple reward with picnics in the park, day trips to the zoo, some inexpensive, fun family outing of some sort instead of lollies and toys and we enjoyed it just as much as she did

[Lulu]

I feel the same way Bek - and after reading a few articles about how the charts ARE (or seem to be) promoting rewards for everyday behaviour I stopped it and stick to cuddles and praise. I also mention the good behaviour at bedtime when we are doing our wind down chat.

Having said that, with a Sensory boy, I have got a chart on his bedroom door with all the things he has to do in the mornings - make bed, brekky, brush teeth etc so he can tick it off, but there isn't any rewards it just helps him keep track of his responsibilities.

[BellyBelly]

Reward charts also can breed 'dependent' behaviour in children. They don't look to themselves for feeling happy/proud/accomplished (or opposite) but look for validation in others. It can work, absolutely, but it can also shape a child's future behaviours.

[BekZ]

Kelly - My DD is very outgoing "look at me" kinda kid and I am afraid that she will seek approval from others instead of being happy with her own choices etc.

Lulu - I like the idea of a routine chart.

MrsS - Thanks for your sharing your experience. I wouldn't want to promote an expectation of giving prizes for good behaviour. My SIL has done this and her 7yo will not do a thing without a trade off. I like the idea of rewarding your child with time and attention.

For me it is so hard to find the right way to motivate my daughter. Things I need help with are getting her to pick up after herself, stop grabbing stuff out of her sisters hands, explaining her feelings instead of sitting in the corner weeping (she does this whenever things are not going her way) or she'll make up that she is hurt.

[BellyBelly]

Have you read the PET articles in this section? The course is brilliant.