No, i agree, i'm by no means as good a parent as i could (or would like to) be, it's just that when i DO lose it with DD, or speak harshly or lose patience, i know what i SHOULD be doing, it's just as you say sometimes you're sick or tired or annoyed or whatever and it's harder. And DD tends to have patience with my moods just as i have patience for hers - though now you point it out i do know people who are HORRIFIED that i admit when i'm wrong and apologise to her. They say she'll "see it as weakness" - another barking veiwpoint to me i'm afraid.

I suppose i just find it hard to believe a parent would go 3 YEARS thinking a child who couldn't sleep was being difficult without ever trying to find out why.

And also, i wonder, if you (the royal you, not a specific you) don't listen to your kids at 3 or 7 or 9 at what point DO you listen to them? Or do they just remain sort of not-real people to you forever? Do you continue to boss them about and disregard them when they are 33 or 45? I don't know why i'm even asking - i can think of DOZENS of people for whom the answer is clearly "yes".

People are crazy.