P.E.T. article: Don't Children Want Authority and Limits?

[ezymay]

Thanks for this Kelly. I find PET so interesting. I ADORE Pinky and love her books but would love the more one on one training of a course but I can't find any in Syd

[BellyBelly]

You could try emailing or calling head office? I saw a huge list somewhere, I thought there were none in states other than QLD & VIC, but they are even overseas. Its worth it, the peace is soooo worth it!!!

[Just Me]

Great article!!! It is so good to read something that doesn't assume that parents can control their children which is such a common statement that is made but people don't understand how incorrect it is. I raise my kids under the pretense that the only person that I can control is myself ... I cannot control another person including my kids. That doesn't mean that I can't manage them, it just means that I cannot dictate to them how they will behave, it is up to them.

I believe that in raising kids, reasons are necessary. I am trying to teach my kids to do the right thing because it is the right thing to do (internalising the behaviour) rather than just because they are scared of what is going to happen to them if they make the 'wrong' choice (that is externalising the behaviour). I think that you teach kids to internalise their own behaviour by teaching them empathy for other people and helping them to understand how their behaviour impacts the world around them. If kids learn from a young age to do the right thing because it is the right thing to do and not because they are worried about the consequences, I think you lessen the chance of them rebelling later on.

I don't think a lot of what looks like rebelling is actual rebellion though. I think when kids start to realise that no-one is going push a consequence on them for a behaviour, they can struggle to set limits for themselves because they never have before. I think they often just push the limit because all of a sudden the external limitation on their behaviour doesn't exist.

I haven't actually read any Pinky stuff and hadn't heard of PET until last week. I have done my Glasser Reality Therapy training which seems to sit quite well with all this stuff. I am a huge fan of Glasser!

Thanks for posting Kelly. I love reading stuff like this