Please help me with a good day/night routine

[first_time_mummy]

hey all.
I have 5 month old, who has turned into a little devil. Unfortunately, being my first, I have no idea about what is a good day and night routine for a baby. And thus he has become very grizzlie. He cries constantly all day, if im not holding him 24/7, he gets fed every 4-5 hours or so, but i just feel like the day is always a mess and theres no structure. Also hes not sleeping well at night. He used to sleep from 9pm til 7am waking once. But now he wakes at 1am, 3am, 5am...and so on. And i eventually just give in and give him a bottle to get him to doze back off again. He then wakes at about 4.30am and wont go to sleep again unless i put him out in his swing chair.

I just feel like he has no proper routine. is there a good routine you use that works? please help

[~Minny~]

What sort of bedtime routine do you do of a night time?

I know once i started doing the same thing every night with DD things got alot better.
It was something like
5:30pm - dinner
6:00pm - bath
6:30pm - bottle
7:00pm - Read books and bed

[onthefly]

Some babies don't really do set routines, so lifting that expectation can really take the pressure off as a parent.

A bedtime routine can help with establishing a pattern. You can do something similar at nap times - it can help babies to know what to expect next and a series of calming/relaxing activities (books, bathtime, walk, whatever your baby likes) can help them to unwind and get ready to sleep.

The crying and clingyness is very common at this age as separation anxiety will often set in. I know with my DS all we could do was ride it out - trying to enforce a routine or get him to sleep alone only made things worse. But it did pass.

It's all just trial and error as you figure out what works best for your baby. Personally I have found some of the advice in Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution quite helpful.

All the best~

[~me~]

I am with Minny,
Have you started solids yet??

Dinner if you have started solids
Bath 6[m
Bottle or breast 6:30pm
books and bed after bottle.

Or skip the dinner and go straight to bath, bottle, stories an bed.
My DD is 4mths and has a power nap at 5pm to 5:30pm, bath at 6pm breast at 6:30pm then into her sleeping bag and bed with a kiss and goodnight.
See how you go....he may have hit a milestone that is making him unsettled

[Arimeh]

Because we already had children, DD2 has just sorta slipped into their routine - but she feeds every 4 hours during the day. I have found that she has to go back down to sleep no more than 1.5 hours after waking - and if she doesn't have enough sleep, I will put her in the sling to get another 20 minutes out of her, or else she just grizzles and doesn't finish her bottles, and the whole day is just out of whack.

So her usual routine is:
Up at 6.30am and fed
back down at 8.00am
She usually wakes at 9 - I'll put her to sleep at 10 again
Wake up and bottle at 10.30
Back down at 12 for about an hour - maybe more
another feed at 2.30
Down again at 4 for an hour if I'm lucky - usually 20 minutes though
If she's grizzling at 5.30, back in sling for another nap
Bath at 6.15
Bottle at 6.30
bed at 7/7.30.

She has a bath at the same time as the other two, which makes it easy. But yeah, definitely the key is getting her sleeps right - up no longer than 1.5 hours or else she turns into a horror to get to sleep and sleeps for hardly any time at all. Harder to settle an overtired baby for the rest of the day if you don't get that first sleep right!

[Livinthedream]

Yeah, I second the first sleep advice, even now, my 11 month old rarely goes much longer than 2 hrs before he goes back to bed in the morning, and he normally sleeps for 1 1/2 hrs.
You need to get a list of all the tired signs, once I realised that the ear grabbing wasnt teeth or a sore ear, but a sign of tiredness for us, it made it so much easier. That along with back arching and a certain type of whine plus some others, made it so much easier to anticipate what he needed.
Maybe try to google tired signs in a baby or somethig?
GL

[Emma1979]

wow i'm amazed at these babies that only stay up an hour and a half!! my two were/are both such live wires during the day and up for literally hours on end, luckily for me my little boy sleeps soundly at night, so far anyway. i am hoping he grows out of the cat napping during the day and sleeps more, it would suit me much better, but i'm not messing with anything as the nights are great, i get about 10 hours, waking once or twice for a feed..

i'm not sure what would be causing his clinginess, something seems to be troubling him and its such a guessing game as to what it is... you may never work it out, it might just run its course and you will be left scratching your head... just give him lots of what he is needing/wanting, have you tried skin on skin contact, or co-sleeping?

if you think its teething i used some homeopathic teething tablets that just disolve in their mouth that seemed to work, others have also sworn by them... worth a shot, a couple of bucks from the chemist...

also with the whole no structure thing, i never had any at all, it just didn't work that way, but what i plan on doing second time around is not so much aiming for a routine, but a pattern, so doing the same things in a row, but thats about it, no actual set plan to the day, but for example when it is nap time maybe i will close the shutters, massage some nice smelling moisturiser into his skin (his skin is ridiculously dry) put him in his sleeping bag/or swaddle, spend a few minutes in the rocking chair getting him sleepy, dummy in and then good night..... so no actual day time routine run by the clock, but just a series of events leading up to naps etc that will become a routine for him. not sure if any of that made sense. right i'm off to bed.
good luck xx

[alipetrina]

I agree with Marcellus regarding the set routine but having a pattern does help. We follow the sleep, feed and play pattern and it has made all the difference. It allows you to be flexible with when and how long your baby sleeps and is awake because you're following his cues. But the great thing is you feel there is some sort of order in your day because you know what's coming next - not wondering if he is hungry or tired etc.

[AngelPants]

i dont have any experience yet but the best info ive read so far on routines is from Child and Youth Health and says that every baby is different so no one thing will work for all babies and that the easiest routine to keep is one that is flexible but centres around the feed-play-sleep routine. skipping the play during the night. but all you can do is try different things and see wat works for your bub.
good luck! hope he settles down!

[Tecopa]

My gorgeous easy going 5 month old has also turned into a devil. Hard to get to sleep during the day, not sleeping at night - same wake ups as your bub. And I think it's such a shock because he's always been an "easy" baby. I am at my wits end with sleep deprivation and not a lot of support so I've decided to co-sleep. Put him in his cot until he wakes for his first night feed about midnight-1 am or whatever and then from there sleep with him. Or wait until the unsettled part - the 3/4am thing which goes on and off until 7am and see how we go. I've done it a few times already and at least we are both in bed until 7am, even if I have to almost spoon him as comfort it's almost okay. I really hope it's a stage!