Urgh...Gina Ford *shudders* no offence to those who like her, i don't know how she still gets published - she advises AGAINST SIDS recommendations!

I did have a bedtime routine at 5 weeks (that was when we began it, for the reasons you outlined, that we wanted DD t have a bedtime) but you need to bear in mind that putting her to BED at 7pm will not necessarily mean she's ASLEEP then, or anytime near then. That comes later.

We had a BF at about 5pm, then a bath, then a massage (i did massage every night with her for the first 3-4months) then another long BF (it was 7.30-8pm by then) and then bed. She naturally wanted the 8pm BF, i just picked that one to be the bedtime one because the 5pm one was too early and the 11pm one was too late!

DD slept in my room in a cot next to my bed or in my bed, so at 8pm she'd go dwn in the cot, and in the night i'd bring her into bed to BF and depending on how i felt i'd either put her back in the cot or not (often not because i'd fall asleep feeding her). As others said, if she was upset after 8pm she stayed in her room with the lights dim. I didn't play with her but i did hold, rock, cuddle, sing to her (i'm a Gentle Parent type so i never left her to cry) and stay with her if she was upset. I wrapped her to sleep which i think helped because if i'd cuddled her until she was calm i could put her down and the shawl she was wrapped in "held" her still and she'd be able to drift off to sleep.

If you're going to begin a routine this early you need to bear in mind that not only does the baby not understand, it will not have the capacity to understand for several more months. It's cool to do it because YOU want to do it, but it's important to realise that the baby might very well not do what you want/expect simply because that's not how being a baby works - i BFed DD and in my head we fed at 5am, 8am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm, 8pm and 11pm but in reality she would OFTEN feed at different times, add a feed, skip a feed, you name it. For me the 3-hourly routine (with the one 6-hour sleep) was what helped ME to keep track - if she cried and it was midday i'd change her nappy first, since i'd just fed her, if it was 1.35pm when she cried i'd feed her first since it was nearly time anyway.

I am quite a chaotic person, and DD is too, and for us routines, flexibly designed and very gently and loosely observed at times, really helped us to find our feet together. I would also say that i ended up moving out from XP's flat when DD was 4 months old and the fact that i'd had a bedtime routine with her for 11 weeks already meant i wasn't ableto do what i was tempted to do - keep her on me at all times and not have a routine for bed so i could have company (not proud of it, but it was shatteringly lonely being a single parent, especially in the evenings, until i got used to it) and i feel in retrospect that meant i shouldered the load of being a single mum the way i wanted too, and didn't "lean" on her for company.

I would say DD was probably 10 or 11 months before SHE cared about the bedtime routine. She would mostly be asleep by 9pm no matter what, and usually she went down without too much fuss at 8pm, but the expectations need to be relaxed until at least that age, when the baby is more able to understand what is going on.

Bx