Okay. I was looking around a long time where to post my story about my personal 'babywise experience'. I thought this is the appropriate place, as I hope someone will benefit from my story.
Sorry, for writing unnecessarily long but I need to get this off my chest. This is only my story and my opinion, which I want to share, as I haven’t read any stories from people who have tried personally babywise and unsucceeded. Mostly I’ve read opinions of those who have not even read the book.

I'm a foreigner from Europe living in Australia. I moved to a new town as pregnant, feeling all hormonal and isolated. Eventually my husband and I found a lovely church and those people were the only 'family' I had. I was advised a lot about parenting and feeling quite overwhelmed about motherhood. On top of it, I was very lonely and hopeless once my baby arrived. I for once, did not attach emotionally (if you can say that) with my baby upon his arrival. I loved him but I had no idea what I was doing apart from the practical caring (regardless that I used to work as a pediatric nurse!).

I'm not much a book reader, but many mums from church kept telling me to look into Babywise so finally I read it (got it as a gift). I was curious to try it after I saw how great their kids are. By the time my son was 6 weeks, I was incredibly sleep deprived and a bit scared of my wellbeing after my doctor suggested me to consider depression medication if I still feel the way I did for a few weeks longer.. (Crazy what sleeplessness can do to a human being ay?!) I just wanted to sleep, and was losing my mentality. I was comparing other mums with babies who sleep through the night and I thought the golden goal is for the baby to sleep through the night -which results in great parenting! (BLAH!) My son cried so much during the nights, and I was tired of rocking him 24/7. By the time he finally fell asleep he'd sleep 30minutes and wanted a feed. I felt so hopeless and was ready to try anything!

So...I read the book and received countless of emails of support from other babywise mums. I started babywise when my son was 8 weeks old and did everything by the book. The biggest problem I had from the start was the hours of scheduling, as my baby never slept the hours nor could handle being hungry for the time. He was crying all the time. I was crying most of the time with him in another room. The best thing I did, was writing a diary of my feelings and how Babywise is working with my son. A couple weeks went past, my son sometimes slept 8 hours and I was high on the clouds. I most likely missed a growth spurt and didn’t meet most of his needs, but hey, he was sleeping through the night and I went according to the book –I thought for sure I’m doing it right. Another few weeks went past and I started to notice in myself so much of guilt and self-hate. I had developed a massive headache and could hear his annoying crying even when he wasn’t crying. My son was waking up randomly around the night. I was not comfortable with Babywise but felt that pressured by other mums who swore, if I could just hang in there a bit longer, I would see great results. I was so tired and thought, there are no other ways of sleeping through the night, than through babywise.

One night, my son was crying and crying and I told my husband I can’t do this anymore! So I went and gave him ‘comfort-boobie’. I remember that night and it will never fade away, as my son was staring deeply into my eyes and I felt him begging me to stop torturing him. I had tears running down as he was sucking my breasts and very soon, he fell asleep. He dropped the breasts from his mouth and smiled in his sleep. I had never witness a smile in his sleep before. It was beautiful. He was so comfortable lying against my breast. I just sat there looking at him, then thinking that ‘babywise book does not allow this’. I went to my husband, hugged and cried, saying I don’t think babywise has been good to us at all; I can’t believe the author has succeeded in making me feel QUILTY when I had my baby fall asleep in my arms. Because of it, I couldn’t allow myself to enjoy of it. I became so upset and I started to read through my diary and realised how screwed up this Babywise really is! I never opened the book again.

Ultimately, I’m grateful for the advice on putting my son to sleep when he’s still awake as this works great for us during the mornings and day times, but in the evenings he needs more physical contact. I don’t always have the opportunity of putting him to sleep awake in his bed, as sometimes we’re out/at church/visiting friends/on a 20 hour flight (!), and he’s needed to learn to fall asleep in my arms as well. Now, my son is 5 months old. I can’t describe it in words, what a proud mum I am. My son doesn’t cry that much, unless he’s hungry or tired. I’m able to understand his needs now and we’re connecting with each other. I’m very happily rocking him to sleep at his bed time in the night, or sometimes he’ll fall asleep on the breast. He falls asleep faster than if I was to leave him cry it out. I also value the information in babywise how little babies actually stay awake –but these advice are found on other normal baby books as well, so I’m not praising Babywise by any means! It makes YOU feel guilty, focus your parenting to suit YOUR needs, and feed your baby according to YOUR schedule. Who advocates the baby’s needs? Sometimes it gets hot on a summer day or a growth spurt kicks in when the babies need an extra sip of milk, and babywise mums still feed by the clock!? You’re basically suppose to tell your child ‘no you’re not hungry because it’s not the time yet’. I find it hilarious to think you could control a few month old baby’s sleeping and eating habits when there are so many growth spurts and changes happening during the first year. Just when my baby started to sleep through the night, we went on holidays to Europe and ever since, he’s been waking up every 2-3 hours. But I’m not depressed nor sleep deprived because I’m in control of my role as a mother. I have understood to place my son’s needs before mine (though, I’m not saying I don’t appreciate a good nap after my husband comes home from work!) and I am happier to have let my son develop his routine which works great –and I can finally plan our days knowing when he has his naps etc!

Do I think I’m the mother of the year? Absolutely not. And I have so much still to learn and mistakes to make, but spoiling my baby with love and cuddles is the biggest ‘mistake’ I’m willing to do and take the consequences along with it.
I think for those, who babywise have worked, have been lucky with babies that sleep and eat overall easily. It has worked with my friends, so I can only speak for myself. However, I truly wish the book would suggest to stop trying after couple of weeks as there are so many out there like me. Looking back, it’s easy to criticize me, as so do I. You’re probably thinking why didn’t I give up after couple of weeks, but I listened to others and failed to listen to my own instincts. I didn’t trust in my own ability as a mother. Being a new parent without the support of me& my husband’s families, trying to cope on my own..It’s not easy.

And nobody said parenting is easy, as it’s not suppose to be. Why bother become a mum if you expect your baby to sleep through the night in a few weeks and feed them according to your suitability? On one hand, I’m glad I went through this because I learned tremendously and in the night when my baby drives me nuts with his cries, I think “at least he’s depending on me and knowing that a cry will get his mummy to meet his needs”. I will never neglect my son’s needs again because that’s poor parenting. Through this experience I’ve also learnt to defend myself and stick with my way of doing things and above all, I never push my advice on anyone or I’ll be clear to mention ‘this is just my way’.

At last, I’d like to add the book which I’ve taken my recent knowledge from called Baby Love by Robin Barker. It gives different options so you can choose the best one to suit your liking. I don’t mean to disrespect anyone who’s for babywise and if it’s worked for you -great. Parenting is very tough; there is no one way of doing it. But no baby, in my opinion, should be raised according to a book. Breaks my heart to think there are many babies as a result of this book, who cry and cry until one day they stop crying, realizing mummy's not coming...