What do you think?

[StrawberryMumma]

Nic could you send me the link too?

thx!

[*Sparklez*]

Has anyone else read it yet? Just want to see your responses..
I can't read it, I know I would go berserk seeing a child crying and distressed..
So when anyone has pls fill me in


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[Shades]

I googled it and found it and I am quite confused to be honest - I find her to be a bizarre mix... She's all into researching and real, organic food, cloth nappies, babywearing etc which I associate (rightly or otherwise) with gentle, aware parenting, and she seems to genuinely adore her kids but then she goes off on this weird, religious discipline and training tangent that makes it justifiable in her mind to smack an 18mo *with an implement* for not sitting completely still and quiet for half an hour.
She has some ideas which sit well with me like having kids "help" with chores quite early on and to an appropriate degree according to age (I'd probably expect a little less than she does though) and being relaxed about the state of the house, it being less important than spending quality time with your kids... And it all sounds good and reasonable and warm and loving, if a little too religious for my personal preference, but then she starts in talking about the "training" and if they insist on crying after being hit for not sitting still for a full church service, teaching them to cry quietly so it doesn't bother the other people in church. I'm confused and sad for these children. How confused must *they* be if I'm having trouble?!

[~Kaz~]

I googled it and found it and I am quite confused to be honest - I find her to be a bizarre mix... She's all into researching and real, organic food, cloth nappies, babywearing etc which I associate (rightly or otherwise) with gentle, aware parenting, and she seems to genuinely adore her kids but then she goes off on this weird, religious discipline and training tangent that makes it justifiable in her mind to smack an 18mo *with an implement* for not sitting completely still and quiet for half an hour.
She has some ideas which sit well with me like having kids "help" with chores quite early on and to an appropriate degree according to age (I'd probably expect a little less than she does though) and being relaxed about the state of the house, it being less important than spending quality time with your kids... And it all sounds good and reasonable and warm and loving, if a little too religious for my personal preference, but then she starts in talking about the "training" and if they insist on crying after being hit for not sitting still for a full church service, teaching them to cry quietly so it doesn't bother the other people in church. I'm confused and sad for these children. How confused must *they* be if I'm having trouble?!

It's taken me a while to get back to this, when I first looked at the blog the pictures weren't loading (issue with our internet). I am in agreement with Shades. There is lots of 'gentle' approaches in her parenting - babywearing, not yelling at the kids, seeing them as real people in their own right. She recently adopted another child (she already had 5 under 5 although the eldest twins just turned 6) from an African country at great expense so I think she must love children. She seems to be a stay-at-home mum who homeschools her kids and researches lots of parenting decisions. In all of the other photos I looked at on her blog, her kids look happy, healthy, well dressed and well taken care of. She acknowledges her own faults and seems to be trying to be a better parent all the time.

All of that is at odds with the 'tool of correction' and sitting quietly for long periods of time to me. I don't agree with her approach or expectations and it's not something I would ever dream of trying with DS, no matter how bad a day we were having. The thought of children learning to cry silently sends shivers down my spine to be honest. I think though, when you take into account her strong religious beliefs and the fact that she lives in the bible belt of America, the idea of 'training' children makes more sense. At least, I can see where her influences have come from and how this could seem to be socially acceptable behaviour to her. She wants her children to sit quietly in church. She wants them to learn about God etc and maybe she wants them to behave in public and set an example to others. She is very religious but I don't think she would stand out on the street as odd in her own home town. She doesn't show the tool of correction. The fact that she has posted about it on a public blog and received 30+ comments (all supportive from what I could see) indicates to me that this may not be against the law in the state she lives in.

Anyway, this may be controverisal on a gentle parenting site but I am choosing to believe that she loves her kids, that they know they are loved, that they are mostly happy and spend a lot of quality time together as a family (that is how it appears from her blog). I think as much as this might be weird, lots of us would have more in common with her than this major difference of opinion. She has miscarried, had C-sections, had VBACS. She has documented her birth stories (for her kids to read one day too). She carried them in slings, she breastfeeds and uses cloth nappies.

I am still curious about her and would love to talk to her directly one day to see how she explains this parenting technique in relation to the rest of her approach.

[aussienic]

just a side note about the comments on the tool of correction. the girl who originally posted this on FB and a couple of her friends commented in a negative way and their comments were deleted

[Mumo'2]

I think it's awful. She has this to say about the 18 month old's crying:

I don’t correct the noise she makes crying. Not at first, anyway. Once I know she’s clear on what is expected, I might have to train her to “cry quietly.” (It can be done, by the way.) But for now, I will suffer her noise.

ETA - I'm not sure my 3 year old would sit still and quiet in church. I'd be more likely up and down and missing part of the service.

[Heaven]

I'm not into hitting and humiliating my little people to get them to do what I want so I do think what she's doing is wrong and it creeps me out.

[helle]

I think it'd be less effort to send them all outside to run around like, well, kids! That's what I have been known to do. I usually sit out there too and read ><;

[helle]

Can you pm me the link too?

[TeniBear]

Sounds a bit like the Pearls or Ezzo

[boomba]

Totally disagree with her methods. I am not here to TRAIN my children as a parent I am here to help them learn and explore the world and I am respectful to their wants and desires within reason.
Making any child sit for long periods of time is cruel. Childrens brains are wired to run around and explore especially boys.
Lucky she doesnt know my kids. But my boys know when to be respectful and quiet. x