What do you think?

[megs]

I find the whole "tool of correction" the hardest to take, and it says she uses it on them. I'm not a legal expert by any means but at what point is using a implement to hit a child blurring across the lines of child abuse. It is easy to say each to their own style of parenting but we have to remember their are children being affected. What if the said implement started leaving marks, how hard is the implement used. The fact that she has blogged this is most disturbing and you could see the 18 month old distressed I just don't see how her technique should be OK.

[*Sparklez*]

Being a mother with very rowdy children and a son with ADHD, I can say I would never resort to this.
Children are children, and more and more these days time is flying by and most children don't even get to enjoy childhood before they are made to act 10x their age, that too me is sad.
I'm sorry but taking pics of belting, and an obviously distraught 18 month old IS abuse, no matter which wu you try and justify it..
This lady obviously thinks she is doing the right thing but
Let's say a law enforcement seen this, she would be charged and definently, well more than likely have child services on her back, worse case lose her children all together, she adopted a child? I don't think anyone would of given her that child If they knew this such thing was taking place.
I'm sorry judging or not judging this woman needs to be judged and corrected, I'm all for discipline but not to humiliate and punish a child on a world wide source. Eg. The Internet.
This is wrong and if I ever seen this I would report it. One smack can do harm that last a life time not to mention become fatal.


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[loulabelle]

Not something I'd do that's for sure. I haven't seen the blog so can't really say what I think. It's sounds a little weird though.


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[aussienic]

As Andie said it is the technique she disagrees with and thats what I think as well. I just don't get it. If you want to read through the blog I can PM it to you. It is an interesting read. Generally some bits are ok but some bits were really weird to me. Like the mum taking time out to pray ect when the day gets to tough. (she goes to her room to pray to get through the day) I have nothing against praying but she seemed a little over the top with it.

She does say though that she speaks in a quiet calm voice and I also know words on a screen can be taken in many different ways

[loulabelle]

Pm me nic xx


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[beckoes]

i dont like the sound of it atall. sit still or you get beaten? they must be too terrified to move.

[Starfish]

Can you PM the link too please...

I find it hard to understand why anyone would work so hard just to make a child do something that is unnatural to them (i.e. sitting still for long periods of time), rather than working WITH the child and expecting something apporpriate for their stage of development (e.g. playing quietly or something...). But I'd like to actually see it before I comment any further.

[onthefly]

What on earth is a tool of correction?
I couldn't sit still for an hour like that, and asking your average kid to do it is just unreasonable.

[Catastrophic]

What on earth is a tool of correction?
I couldn't sit still for an hour like that, and asking your average kid to do it is just unreasonable.

sounds like a smacking tool :-(

[*Sparklez*]

Has anyone else read it yet? Just want to see your responses..
I can't read it, I know I would go berserk seeing a child crying and distressed..
So when anyone has pls fill me in


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[Shades]

I googled it and found it and I am quite confused to be honest - I find her to be a bizarre mix... She's all into researching and real, organic food, cloth nappies, babywearing etc which I associate (rightly or otherwise) with gentle, aware parenting, and she seems to genuinely adore her kids but then she goes off on this weird, religious discipline and training tangent that makes it justifiable in her mind to smack an 18mo *with an implement* for not sitting completely still and quiet for half an hour.
She has some ideas which sit well with me like having kids "help" with chores quite early on and to an appropriate degree according to age (I'd probably expect a little less than she does though) and being relaxed about the state of the house, it being less important than spending quality time with your kids... And it all sounds good and reasonable and warm and loving, if a little too religious for my personal preference, but then she starts in talking about the "training" and if they insist on crying after being hit for not sitting still for a full church service, teaching them to cry quietly so it doesn't bother the other people in church. I'm confused and sad for these children. How confused must *they* be if I'm having trouble?!

[aussienic]

Can you PM the link too please...

I find it hard to understand why anyone would work so hard just to make a child do something that is unnatural to them (i.e. sitting still for long periods of time), rather than working WITH the child and expecting something apporpriate for their stage of development (e.g. playing quietly or something...). But I'd like to actually see it before I comment any further.

Just sending the link now.. Sorry I didn't see the message till now

[glorious]

it is a little upsetting but perhaps she is an EZZO fan? so while she loves her children and has a huge faith in her christianity she is choosing some not so "nice" aspects to parent with.

i dont think everyone has the tools all the time to be the worlds best parents.. i am sure the kids will give it back to her at some point in the future..

[StrawberryMumma]

Nic could you send me the link too?

thx!

[RockingBaker]

Definitely not something I could do. I hate smacking my kids and I only tap DS with two fingers on his upper thigh if what he is doing is dangerous to himself or others. That criteria is applied by anyone that are allowed to discipline DS (My grandparents DH and I).

[Heaven]

I'm not into hitting and humiliating my little people to get them to do what I want so I do think what she's doing is wrong and it creeps me out.

[aussienic]

Nic could you send me the link too?

thx!

I tried sending you the link but your messages are full..

Google vita familiae sit time.. That will take you to the sit time thing this post is about.. but is easy to navigate around the rest of the blog

[~Kaz~]

I googled it and found it and I am quite confused to be honest - I find her to be a bizarre mix... She's all into researching and real, organic food, cloth nappies, babywearing etc which I associate (rightly or otherwise) with gentle, aware parenting, and she seems to genuinely adore her kids but then she goes off on this weird, religious discipline and training tangent that makes it justifiable in her mind to smack an 18mo *with an implement* for not sitting completely still and quiet for half an hour.
She has some ideas which sit well with me like having kids "help" with chores quite early on and to an appropriate degree according to age (I'd probably expect a little less than she does though) and being relaxed about the state of the house, it being less important than spending quality time with your kids... And it all sounds good and reasonable and warm and loving, if a little too religious for my personal preference, but then she starts in talking about the "training" and if they insist on crying after being hit for not sitting still for a full church service, teaching them to cry quietly so it doesn't bother the other people in church. I'm confused and sad for these children. How confused must *they* be if I'm having trouble?!

It's taken me a while to get back to this, when I first looked at the blog the pictures weren't loading (issue with our internet). I am in agreement with Shades. There is lots of 'gentle' approaches in her parenting - babywearing, not yelling at the kids, seeing them as real people in their own right. She recently adopted another child (she already had 5 under 5 although the eldest twins just turned 6) from an African country at great expense so I think she must love children. She seems to be a stay-at-home mum who homeschools her kids and researches lots of parenting decisions. In all of the other photos I looked at on her blog, her kids look happy, healthy, well dressed and well taken care of. She acknowledges her own faults and seems to be trying to be a better parent all the time.

All of that is at odds with the 'tool of correction' and sitting quietly for long periods of time to me. I don't agree with her approach or expectations and it's not something I would ever dream of trying with DS, no matter how bad a day we were having. The thought of children learning to cry silently sends shivers down my spine to be honest. I think though, when you take into account her strong religious beliefs and the fact that she lives in the bible belt of America, the idea of 'training' children makes more sense. At least, I can see where her influences have come from and how this could seem to be socially acceptable behaviour to her. She wants her children to sit quietly in church. She wants them to learn about God etc and maybe she wants them to behave in public and set an example to others. She is very religious but I don't think she would stand out on the street as odd in her own home town. She doesn't show the tool of correction. The fact that she has posted about it on a public blog and received 30+ comments (all supportive from what I could see) indicates to me that this may not be against the law in the state she lives in.

Anyway, this may be controverisal on a gentle parenting site but I am choosing to believe that she loves her kids, that they know they are loved, that they are mostly happy and spend a lot of quality time together as a family (that is how it appears from her blog). I think as much as this might be weird, lots of us would have more in common with her than this major difference of opinion. She has miscarried, had C-sections, had VBACS. She has documented her birth stories (for her kids to read one day too). She carried them in slings, she breastfeeds and uses cloth nappies.

I am still curious about her and would love to talk to her directly one day to see how she explains this parenting technique in relation to the rest of her approach.