I just wrote this email to my family. I spoke to my Dad this morning (who is working in Singapore for 3 months) and he made me promise I would investigate all other options before deciding to have him put down. So I will speak to some experts today. I think my decision is made, but I need a clear conscience to do it.
Hi Family,
Calvin attacked a little girl yesterday, resulting in a bad bite on her foot. As we all know, this isn’t the first time he’s acted agressively and bitten someone. I have been thinking of nothing else since I was told and I know that something needs to be done.
I have just spoken to Dad and he hopes I will try everything before deciding the worst.
Mum, can you please give me the details of the vet and I will call him today and ask him a few questions. I have contacted a dog training/behaviour company who works out of Canberra (which services the Riverina) and am waiting for them to call me back as well. I guess we need to assess whether or not his behaviour can be changed.
My main concern is that he has had constant upheaval in the last 2 years – Alex and Coco disappearing, moving to Kincaid, Rocco and Beau appearing, Rocco and Beau disappearing, moving out of Kincaid and in with you after Camille died, me disappearing to Melbourne and now Dad disappearing as well. He is unsettled and his behaviour has been getting worse. He was so unhappy when I was home this weekend. I worry that another move will make things worse.
I am full of guilt, as I know I can’t have him in Melbourne. But I don’t think him moving to Melbourne would be beneficial at all – he would spend long amounts of time alone, in a small space. The reality is that I won’t be able to find/afford a house with a yard and even if I did, I won’t be home to be with him, which is what he’s used to. I think another massive change and upheaval would do more harm than good. I feel like the worst dog owner in the world.
The fact still remains that he attacked a child, unprovoked yesterday. She didn’t frighten him or pull his tail. And this just shows how out of sorts he is. He is frightened.
I really don’t know what to do. I’m struggling with what is right. The mother of this child could very well make the decision for me, but even if she doesn’t, I couldn’t live with myself if he did this again – what if it’s not a 4 year olds foot next time? What if it’s her face? And is it fair on Calvin, when he is so unsettled and stressed?
This is probably the worst decision I’ve ever been faced with. And I will talk to the vet and some experts before I make a decision. But whatever happens, I need your support. I won’t ask Mum or Dad to make this decision, because Calvin is my responsibility. I will look into every possible option.
Suggestions welcome.
I am so heartbroken today. Words can't describe how much I love this dog
Aimz, it's the hardest thing you'll have to do. Make a decision on the life of a healthy, fit, much loved pet. I've written about my dog before and what happened (story short, he was aggressive, got worse, started to bite and not let go. He was a spoodle and not yet two when we put him to sleep, after him being with behaviourists, vets, trainers and us). I was gutted, but we knew that if we had kids, he would be banished outside to live a life of misery, with nobody going near him. He couldn't be rehomed. When he was good, which was 80% of the time, he was a sensational dog. It was so hard. But looking back, and looking at the dogs we have now, he was so unhappy. He didn't want to be like that. I felt like I'd set him free from his own demons, released him from a life full of fear and anger. I never expected I'd feel like that when initially I got so angry with myself for not trying harder and giving up on my dog. (even though there was nothing else we had left to try).
We have a story with our little dog that was a rescue dog who was also deaf. She was three when we adopted her and had obviously been mistreated before we took her on. She had a fair few behavioural issues, which we expected given her background. One was around food. You couldn't leave food around because if she tried to steal it she would get quite aggressive. However, this was with us, since we were very careful to keep her shut away when we had visitors and food.
She still bit a toddler on the hand once, grabbing the child's apple. But she didn't do serious damage and the Mum was fine. She bit our DD once or twice in the same way. It never broke the skin. The worst bites were DP and I. She didn't like it when I handled her and she didn't want to do what I wanted. It makes her sound really bad when I say it like this - but in reality she was a very sweet natured dog and had only a couple of issues. Food and being picked up by her hips or around her hips.
We had a dog behaviouralist/trainer out to our house to visit and talk through what we were doing. She gave us some great tips, but basically said we were doing the right thing. Also that making sure we respected her space and when she growled would help. Training her a bit better helped too. We had noticed with the right attention and training she was already getting much better, much more mellow and manageable.
You can limit the dog's contact with other people while you try to work on his behaviour. Your concerns around what will happen when you move to Melbourne are justified, but again, the right amount of time and attention will probably help him. If you put the effort in and there is no difference in his behaviour after a period of time, then you can at least face the more difficult option knowing you've done your best.
We never regretted keeping our dog and working with her. She turned out to be a beautiful and delightful dog. She died earlier this year killing a red belly black in our backyard. We still miss her.
Oh babe i am so sorry! its definitely not an easy decision!
My mum once took a dog in, he was abused from a young pup by little kids and so was very snappy. One afternoon i took him out for a walk, the lead got tangled between his legs i went to untangle and he bit my hand, quite badly too! I had blood pouring from my hand, when i got home my mum was upset but didnt want to give up on right away. The very next day, my brother was playing in the backyard and the dog went straight up to him and started attacking him. But only went for his hands. He completely mauled my brothers hands, he was lucky that no tendon damage was done but he now has some pretty gnarly scarring. My mum made the choice then and there as soon as it happened.
After speaking with the family vet I wrote the following email to my family (its easier to copy and paste than to retype - its just been one of those days!)
We short term plan of attack after speaking with Calvin’s vet.
She has suggested the following, which I will organise today.
Obedience and behavioural training is to start as soon as possible. Obedience training will sort out the issue of him running and not coming back, and behavioural will cover his fear of children and his aggression to anyone outside the house. I have spoken to a girl at Kyeamba Dog Training Club who is passing my details onto a dog behavioural therapist named Jean, who has had a dog with the same issues as Calvin and was able to resolve them. I will speak to her later today to see if she can help.
Dog training will be assessed after a month or so, and if there’s no sign of improvement, we will work with the vet to introduce a calming drug to be used in conjunction with the training.
If none of the above works, we will need to look at other options. But he’s a smart boy and I have faith in him.
This doesn’t solve the long term problem, but that’s all we can do for the moment. It probably should have been done a long time ago, and I take responsibility for that. I am happy that we are doing it now and I think Calvin will be much happier if the above works.
I feel much better with this path than any other option.
Well done.
I'm in a similar place (my dog freaked out at an old man at a cafe) and my dog starts school next week. I just gave her a summer haircut too so she looks really ugly the poor darling. :/
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