yes - I didn't realise the impact it would have on my life... I knew that I would miss not having my mum there to ask etc but I didn't realise the level of grief that you can experience or the jealousy of other girls who can drop the baby at their mums, or have their mum come and help when you are having a hairy time. Reading the book helped to clarify a lot of what I was feeling and made it feel "ok" to be angry etc.
I think thats the worst bit for me, listening to friends say how great their mums have been and how they were not coping so mum came round and did everything for them etc. I also find trips to the shopping centre sad some days cause it feels like every other woman with a baby is shoping with her mum (I usually take my dad which feels funny some days)
I had mum around until DD2 was just over 2 so I miss what I had as well as what I know she would be like with Riley. How long has your mum been gone Nelly?
My mum died 3 1/2 years ago, 4 in June. When I got married I missed her as much as you'd expect, but having Jake has brought in so many more facets of grief.
I don't have my father either and my DH family is in Sydney (which is usually a good thing) and no Grandparents either. My sister is in Sydney and I only have my Mum's little sister in Brisbane. I know this sounds "poor me" but I usually don't miss the blood ties bcos I have so many friends that I call my family - it's just a baby makes family so much more of a priority bcos it's so hard to ask for help without feeling guilty or a burden. IYKWIM?
I know exactly what you mean, there are times where you really just want family. I don't have a sister so I really feel the lack of female blood relatives. Mum's mum died 2 years ago in June. I have cousins I am close to but all of them have sisters of their own so I always feel like the lone female. My brother is lovely but still not a woman and whilst his wife is great too she has a sister so doesn't need me in that role.
I feel lucky that I have 2 daughters, my oldest daughter is a great help and support (mostly) so at least I have that.
I hate it at work when people complain about their mothers because i would give anything to have mine back.
Maybe we should form a motherless support group of our own.
It's just nice to talk to someone who understands the mix of emotions you feel. I mean sometimes I feel quite aggressive towards people who want to help, but I don't want to surrender my independence that I've had to cultivate - and by the same token I am crying out for someone to be a "mum" to me.
Yes!! Thats exactly how I feel. Its just those down moments when you just want your mum, you could never ask someone else to step in and it isn't anything particular you just want to be mothered. When my grandma died I went through a lot of depression cause i realised I was the oldest female in that bloodline as my mum has brothers and I am the oldest cousin too.
I guess I was lucky enough to have an adult relationship with mu mum before I lost her so compared to someone who lost their mum quite young I am fortunate...
Do you think there are many mm's in the bb community?
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