Thanks for all the good advice and understanding.
I have done the "tell me about you" thing.
I always help with clean up and set up.
There doesn't seem to be an easy way to learn names of other mums. They seem to know each other as many of them have older children and have been going for longer.
I have brought morning tea before but got the "it's not your day you didn't need to bring anything".
I offered to help one mum with a new job she is going for as I'd done the job for a long time..........she talked to me a bit that day but has not asked for the info since.
I really tried to go to a mothers group before this but found it waaaay too hard......all that complaining about normal baby stuff like sleepless nights and nappies.......arrrggghh!
I was thrilled to have a live baby and didn't care that he was getting me up for feeds and stuff!
I also make a real effort to welcome any new people but most of them seem to know others.
I have lived in this region for 12 years but perhaps because I'm a little older I don't fit in.
I am wondering if I should try another group but the only other one is on when my son has another activity so would go from one thing to the next........he'd be tired I reckon.
I have a friend with a son about the age of mine who said she'd come along but so far she hasn't done so.
DH says to just not go but my DS needs to hang out with other kids and his two friends (whose parents I know) live about an hour away and each in the opposite direction!
In answer to your initial question, it really doesn't sound like you are doing anything wrong
We never know what is going on in other people's lives, even our close friends still might hide things from us. In a group like that, it can be hard to break down the existing barriers.
I joined a playgroup recently and it was an existing mothers' group that had morphed into a playgroup. Fortunately they were extremely welcoming and friendly. But not all are - I hear stories like yours quite frequently. I think for a lot of us, if we have a group of friends that we see once a week, it can be easy to just stay in our comfort zone and chat with them. Maybe, like you, they struggle to build a new friendship? Aren't feeling up to building new friendships?
I think you need to get back on the morning tea and activity roster. Our PG does the same thing, one mum does the activity and another the morning tea each week, and it has been a great way to get all the mums sitting with their kids and then chatting while the kids do the craft.
I sympathise with following your DS around - my DS2 is the same, he needs constant supervision, so I often feel like I start a conversation with someone only to have to run off and chase DS2 before he disappears/falls off the slide/tips over the crazy coupe/whacks another child.
I know that the other mums don't have that problem as their kids are older (mostly) and can be left to play independently and often end up sitting around and chatting. Could it be that is also affecting things? What ages are their kids?
At the end of the day, as others have said, check out some other options. I totally understand wanting to do the local thing - I was travelling 30mins to a PG for a while and then went "This is really silly, there must be something closer to home" - but if it isn't working out for you, is it really worth taking DS?
What about your local ABA group, do they run meetings? I have found most ABA groups to be very welcoming and open - regardless of your feeding status, by the way. Everyone is welcome, normally.
I tried to get in touch with an ABA group when I was feeding........I've given that away now having done it for 2 1/2 years.
I did find someone but I think they musta moved or something and I didn't hear back.
The group I go to is about 15 mins away and the other one (that is friendlier and smaller) is about 50 mins away.
I think some of it might be me feeling judged by other parents.
I'll try doing a craft thing some time soon but the problem is my son doesn't stay with the craft activity for long and takes off and none of the other mothers seem to be concerned about kids going outside or getting into stuff like I am.
Running craft would be hard if I ws trying to show kids what to do and chase him at the same time........
Sounds like I am making excuses doesn't it?
Re: What am I doing wrong?
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