My grandmother was sick with cancer all through my childhood. Our parents were always honest with us, but we very rarely actually saw her at her sickest. I think that's more because the relationship between my father & his parents was never a great one.
When she was in her final days, dad's brother took his 8yo DS in to see Grandma. Honestly, by that point the family wasn't impressed. Dad also advised me not to see her even though I was 19. She had no idea who anyone was & they didn't want us remembering her like that. I appreciate that.
But as she was battling cancer on & off for 17 years, there's no way to avoid us seeing her sick. It was our lives. That's all we knew of her. Sometimes she had hair, sometimes she wore a wig, sometimes a beanie with nothing under it. I don't think there was any acting out for us, because 1, we weren't that close... not as close as my kids are to my parents & 2, that was life for us. That's how we knew her.
Its possible that the acting out is her being worried about what's going on. All you can do is let her know that its ok to be worried & scared. But I certainly wouldn't stop your DD spending time with her. Especially if you're not sure just how much more time she'll get with her.
I don't have much experience with this but would seeing if there are some books you could borrow from a library to read to Miss E that might help her talk about things with help?
Wow, what a lot in such a short time. A big hug to you first off. My experience is a little different but thought I would let u know anyway. Our dd2 was stillborn at term last year and then I had a mc in feb this year. My dd1 was 2.5'at the time her sister died but she has always been a very emotionally aware child. I am preg with our third now and if I keep anything from her Or I don't take her to app she gets extremely emotional and scared that something is wrong with me or the baby. She recently had a big break down when I went and had a blood test done and she was playing at her nanas. I didn't really think about it but as I left I said to her that I would be back as soon as I was done with the tests and apparently after I left she was in tears to my mil that we were sick and dying. Later that arvo she was acting up just like you said you dd was, screaming and crying etc. I had to sit her down and explain that the tests were just to check we were all ok etc. I guess I am getting at, given that your dd has been exposed to so much that being honest and talking things through with her would probably help her as would her seeing your mum. I think if it feels right then it probably is - I believe in just keeping the lines of communication open for her and prompt her to talk about her feelings if she wants to. They may be young but they certainly are far more aware than we realise! Your doing great job in a tough situation! Xoxo
Mum was discharged this morning - we took dd to visit her every single day (usually twice a day) - for a while I was scared mum wasn't coming home. And then I knew they both needed the contact to boost them.
DD loved having granma home today. She was thrilled to be there doing normal stuff. Seeing both her grandparents together. We have been very honest with dd (more honest than we have been with mums intellectually disabled sister) and she has coped wonderfully well. We have talked through the breakdowns. Explained things mum has mentioned at an age appropriate level (ct, MRI, blood tests etc). DD has asked questions so I believe we are doing the right thing
I'm glad mum is home and things for all of is can return to a semblance of normal and we can get dd back on track emotionally. Hopefully this is the last drama for quite a while!
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