Can you breastfeed her through tantrums and feed to sleep if she is resisting? (I saw you mention bf so I am assuming you are still feeding).
Breastfeeding seems to be paramount to my kids at two and is the best parenting tool I have when they get over tired and over stimated.
Otherwise keep food and drink on hand always, do lots of skin on skin and cuddles, lots of tickle games to get the sillies out and be very firm about violence. Ds has to sit or lie on the floor when he hits.
It's an aggressive age I think and they do lash out at older siblings. Dd sounds like your eldest And will NOT move away from ds but just provokes him. It's tiring!!
My DS2's tanties have escalated recently also. I have started to try using a calm and gentle voice, sometimes whispering to DS2. No matter how frustrated and cranky I feel! And trust me I feel like my head might explode some days. I have also tried making my responses less negative. Trying not to say no, don't, can't, and then distracting or showing the correct behaviours...so instead of 'DS2, no don't hit your brother', it's 'DS2, you hurt DS1 when you hit him, gentle hands' and we do gentle hands on each other (as in patting or hugs). Instead of 'No you can't have crackers now'; It's 'Lunch time is soon. You can have crackers after lunch, lets go outside!'.
HTH!
Good luck. 2 is a hard age for some kids! Though I never really had terrible 2's with my first two kids! It's tough dealing with someone so unreasonable, and egotisitcal, who doesn't understand or see things from other's POV.
she is a nightmare, im stunned at how a 2y4m old child can be so feral!
we have recently cut as many additives and preservatives from her diet as possible and have also started trying to take a calm approach and not raise our voices with her, which is a bloody hard task some days
we are also trying to not sat the word "no" again another huge challenge.
im making sure im offer 2 alternatives so that she can choose and still think she has the power.
she asked for a icy pole for breakfast on sunday and rather than saying no, i said yes you can have one after lunch but for now you can have strawberries or an apple and after asking again and me repeating what i said, she happily decided on strawberries.
she finds it hard ot control her frustration so god knows how to fix that!
Just putting another spin on things - my twins are 23mths old and one of their traits is tantrum throwing but to an extreme. Will fight and kick and go on for excessive amounts of time and both of them are seeing a Speech Therapist as they have developmental delays (both differing delays) and the speechie has told me she sees signs of them both displaying traits of ASD. As they are still young it is a wait and see approach with using services available to us, but if you think her behaviour is to the extreme it might be worth having her assessed, even if it is to give you peace of mind that she is just a normal 2yr old
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