My DS (now almost 5) did pretty well the same things. He toilet trained at 3.5 with wees fine, but it honestly took him a good year before we got him to even attempt pooing on the toilet. I tried so many things, so many bribes, reward charts, all that... I tried to be understanding, but after a year of him pooing in his undies I was understandably frustrated! I can't remember exactly what it was that got him to start doing his business on the toilet. We tried a 'poo toy' - a much wanted toy that he could only play with when doing his poos on the toilet. That at least got him on the toilet. I think another thing that helped get him there was a reward that he really wanted... For him this was getting to play a game on the iPad for a set time. This worked for awhile, but we aren't completely there yet. He doesn't do a full poo on his undies anymore, but he will often start and then have to waddle to the loo to finish. He starts school in a few weeks too, so it is something we are having to talk a lot about.

For my DS, it was about finding the right reward or incentive to actually give it a go. He just didn't care about it otherwise.

Also, take comfort in the fact that you're not alone. I have two or three other mums who have had almost identical issues.

I hope that was of some help xx