Id suggest not having it in bed, have it on the couch or something before, make it a special thing, eg you both sit and have a "cuppa" before bed, use it as a nice quiet wind down time, maybe talk about what she did that day, or plans for the next day, or read a story with it. Then take her to bed.
You need to be firm and stick to it though. Talk to her before hand about the new plan (like in the afternoon) then do it and that's it, keep at it. It might take one night, it might take weeks of her fighting and being upset about it. But she still gets her milk and make it special.