I'm not sure how you have been going, but it sounds like it was all positive the other night until you got to the rolling over/patting part. Is it possible she doesn't need/want you to do that anymore? Maybe that's just dragging out the process? We just give him a kiss, say goodnight, turn off the light and walk out. It's all calm, and brief - the longer we stick around, the more he gets over stimulated and plays up.

I agree with the others that have said no iPad before bed, and also if he wants to 'read' the book 'by self', we just let him. The less arguments at bed time, the better.