Pregnancy after Stillbirth/Recurrent Miscarriage or Late Loss March/April 2010

[dory]

M04 - that is weird timing. I would almost be tempted to go to sleep for those hours til it was all over ( I kno you would still see it happened) but being a busy mum no doubt there is no chance. My ob always recommends rest. Says there's no hard and fast evidence but anectdotally, it seems to help. It helped me during the times I bled, but resting also gives you way too much time to be alone with your thoughts.... I am a case in point.

I finally got around to enabling the ticker. I have done it today with trepdiation though because it feels as if I am not honouring my angels, as when in post in the loss forums I have to turn off my signature. But its ok here. I decided i needed to try and more publically embrace where I am, and maybe the reminder the ticker gives me will help.

Is Mr I at prep or school? Are Mr H and Miss J at home?

10 weeks feels like you are so far along doesn't it? Big hugs, and still sending positive thoughts your way.

[Laney]

mo4, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Extra worry is the last thing that any of us need. I had bleeding with Grayson but it only lasted a few days here and there but it was all day. Do you have another ultrasound scheduled to check on bub? Try to rest hun. I know that is harder said than done.

beata, it is good to give your body a little time to recover. It is also great to have time to enjoy your little one. They get big very fast. I missed my pregnant belly as soon as Grayson was born. I can't wait to be able to feel this little bub wiggle around.

Ellie, 3 more sleeps!

Dory, It is nice to read that you have been feeling good and that you don't have an issue with depression. I did take meds on and off and I have gone to talk to an infant loss counsellor. Medication makes me feel physically horrible and I hated talking to a counsellor. I found that BellyBelly was always more help and support than any of the other things. I really didn't know how bad the depression was or that I even had it until it was gone. I think that is why I am really trying to keep a watch on it now. It is hard to tell what is worry/anxiety about being pregnant and what is depression. I have never had to deal with it before.
on a happier note, I love your ticker. More than half way there! I am so glad that you have decided to post one! Do you have another scan next week?

AFM, Next Monday AM is my scan. You will all be sleeping by the time I post about it though. My in-laws are coming over to watch Grayson. I really hope that we are able to find out the sex. We found out that Grayson was a boy around the same time.

[dory]

Laney - I had forgotten you were in PA, USA and was wondering why you were "posting so late". Ha! Here I am up at the witching hour. I fell asleep in front of the tele during a show I really wanted to see the end of. Blah, and woke up about 11.30pm bright as a button. Oh well, I might go readmy book now and snuggle with DH who is an night owl. He's just coming to bed at midnight! I have already had a good 3 hours sleep. Oh well.

No more big scans for me. I might however ask for one at my obstetricians. He says I can have one any time I want for reassurance.

I hope bubs is cooperative at your scan and you get to discover whether you have a little boy or girl miracle on their way. We didn't want to know. Not sure why, just we don't. But I imagine its exciting knowing......

Ellie - I still am so excited. I hope you are able to get some sleep and rest..... take care.

Anyway, good night. Sweet dreams.

[cmeglles]

Hi- I just want to introduce myself and let you know I am lurking....I probably won't post too much yet, cause it is so early.......I am a little over 5 weeks pregnant. We lost our DS on Nov 10 2009, for who knows why at 16 weeks---so right now I am kinda scared of the second trimester, but I have to get there first right? Anyways it is nice to meet you all.

[~MummaBear~]

M04 - that is weird timing. I would almost be tempted to go to sleep for those hours til it was all over ( I kno you would still see it happened) but being a busy mum no doubt there is no chance. My ob always recommends rest. Says there's no hard and fast evidence but anectdotally, it seems to help. It helped me during the times I bled, but resting also gives you way too much time to be alone with your thoughts.... I am a case in point.

I finally got around to enabling the ticker. I have done it today with trepdiation though because it feels as if I am not honouring my angels, as when in post in the loss forums I have to turn off my signature. But its ok here. I decided i needed to try and more publically embrace where I am, and maybe the reminder the ticker gives me will help.

Is Mr I at prep or school? Are Mr H and Miss J at home?

10 weeks feels like you are so far along doesn't it? Big hugs, and still sending positive thoughts your way.

I have tried sleepoing throught hat time but when i wake up it is even worse cause i end up with a massive lot of blood running down my leg cause it has all just kinda pooled inside and waited for me to stand up iykwim.
I know what you mean i spend most of my day laying on the couch and all i can do is think and most of the time it makes me cry
MrI is in Pre primary ( 5 full days a week) and MR H is in Kindy ( 2 half days, 1 full day a week) so that give me a good break... the little miss is always home but she sleeps so much that you dont even know she is here sometimes ROFL


Will be back later! kindy pick up!! lol

[KAM]

MO4 - I'm not sure if this helps or not ( I hope it does) but I bled for 6 weeks with this baby. A 2 week bled at 5wks pregnant and a 4 week bleed at 10wks, I constantly bled for the entire time so that's a little different, But baby is still with us at 28wks and there was no reason for the bleeding. So hopefully it will stop and everything will be ok

Ellie - Good Luck

cmeglles - welcome

AFM - 28wks today, I had my GTT and yet another Anti-D injection. It's getting harder, I keep thinking these where some of the last things we got to do for Isabel. I have this feeling of inevitability that something is going to go wrong "it has every other time so why not this time too." It probably doesn't help that the other night when Hubby was rubbing my tummy he accidentally called this baby Isabel, I didn't know what to do and all he could manage was to repeatedly say sorry and then go and 'hide'. My psychologist cancelled my appointment for tomorrow and I'm starting to get so busy with work and appointments that it's getting harder to see her anyway. Oh and my doctor is going away for the 3 weeks before I'm due so I have no idea who will be looking after me and baby let alone delivering is baby decides to come early. On a brighter note though I have a growth and wellness U/S next Tuesday, so hopefully everything's ok.

[CharlieB]

Hi everyone ,

Thanks for the welcomes

cmeglles - nice to see you in this thread, we'll be due about the same time all going well. Hope your little bean keeps behaving.

Dory - I love your ticker, it's nice to see! I might be game enough by about 30 weeks! Thanks for the advice, I agree that one day at a time is best. I am so much more aware of all the things that can potentially go wrong that it can be overwhelming. I'm glad your fur babies are looking after you, mine are lifesavers at the moment! When one of mine was sitting over my lower belly purring last night I was hoping that all those soothing feelings were making it through to the bub! Might counteract some of my worrying! Have you every seen that TV commercial where the little boy collects all those warm and fuzzy feelings in the glass jars? (if not you are going to think I am a big weirdo!) Anyways, I was thinking it would be nice to have a jar full of those incredible feelings you had last week, and could open it whenever you needed to over the next few months!

mo4 - I'm really sorry about the bleeding, l'm sure you coud do without any worry this pregnancy. Glad that the bub seems to be healthy, I'm crossing everything that it stays that way

Laney - I'm sorry that you feel you are withdrawing a bit. Hope that the feeling is only temporary. I'm going to keep seeing the councellor that I saw over the time we lost our son throughout this pregnancy. I'm also really worried that the anxiety could get the best of me. Good luck with the upcoming scan, hopefully some good news will help you feel a bit stronger

KAM - big hugs to you, I hope that your scan goes well and it makes you feel more positive about things

Ellie - hope you're feeling ok and getting lots of rest. Good luck!!!


Beata - how did Cameron's appt go? hope he is still getting more comfortable after the thrush.

AFM - 6 weeks now, can't belive how time is draaaaaging along! I had an HCG level done at 4.5 weeks which was 121, had another 7 days later which was 1650 or so. So that seems to be rising ok. My dating scan is on the 19th, I am praying that I will see a little heartbeat!!

Take care
xx

[dory]

cmeglles - welcome girl! It is SOOOOOOOO good to see you in here. Good for you for being so brave to post! Belly rubs.

Charli - not too long for your scan. But I agree time does drag on. I also have those same thoughts that hopefully all the fur baby love will be transmitted to baby. I hoped that baby could sense ( and now hear) the purring. We have one fur baby that just has the best deep throaty rumble of a purr. I have recorded it and will record some more. I find it soothing. We also have another fur baby whose purr is so quiet it is so hard to hear but when I do it's just so special.

M04 - I think your DD might take after me. Last couple of days all I want to do is sleep. I slept for 3 hours yesterday and then went to bed early and slept in this morning. Makes the day go quickly that's for sure and less opportunity to chase my thoughts around and around in my head. I know what its like to be alone at home on "rest", dreading and fearing the worst but also hoping for the best and crying. It's not a great place to be. Let me know if I can do anything to help. The way these things work, it seems we have to find our own way through to deal with our fear. Know that you are not alone, as much as it might feel like you are. There are loads of us who care for you and are just wishing you all the strength and courage.

Laney - how are you doing? Spring time is such a nice time. I was in the States in 2000 during Spring. In Michigan. It was still snowing in spring, but the tulips still pushed their way up and showed their colour.

Ellie - is this the big day? I think it might be. I am sooo excited. God speed to you and bubs.

KAM - I understand how you feel. My ob and I have spoken at length about how without any "happy"endings it's harder to envisage a "happy ending". He actually raised it with me. He says if there is a happy ending, it gets easier the next time. I am not sure I will ever feel a lasting sense of confidence that there will actually be a happy ending, as much as I wish for one. I agree too, I am so much more aware of so many of the "unhappy" possibilities. In a way it is good to be informed but at the same time it's terrifying. Your poor DH - he must have just felt so bad after he mis- spoke like that. I would imagine he knows this baby is not your precious Isabel. I feel so sad that he felt he had to go and hide. It was probably just inadvertent and he might have been thinking the same sort of things you wrote about in your post. Were you OK? So many things to deal with huh?

AFM - I had a "woe is me" day yesterday. So much so I didn't even get on to BB. As the day wore on I was really unmotivated and despite my best intentions to cook something new for dinner ( spiced lamb and rice pilaf - I might try for it tonight), I did nothing and DH ended up heating up left overs from the night before when he got home from work and made toast and brought them to me on the lounge. I feel soo lazy and useless not doing things, but at the same time it's not just about me anymore. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am doing something really important, even if it feels a bit abstract at the moment. I know I am getting more scared of history repeating itself and so am taking it even easier than I have been. I am not on strict bed rest yet, but the obstetrician made a point to ask me if I was resting, in our last appointment on Friday just gone. Even thought I am so happy to have come so far, there just seems so far to go right now.

We are having some problems with one of our furbabies. He has started spraying. It has coincided with some construction work going on next door. We are going to get some Feliway ( synthetic cat pheremone (?) - it's not cheap) and if no fix will consult a behaviouralist. Poor little cat. He's also in a multi cat household, which might add to his stress. Our cats get on really well though, I wonder if I am missing signs of aggression between them? I hope the Feliway helps as we might use it when baby comes home to help ease any anxiety any of the cats might have, but particularly our jet pilot.

[Laney]

Ellie, Tomorrow is the big day!!!! I can't wait read the news. I hope you are getting a little sleep tonight. I am thinking blue but I am usually wrong.

dory, spring is nice here! Especially after a long, cold, and snowy winter. We are finally able to get out of the house again. Michigan is a bit colder and spring starts a bit later there.
I know how difficult these next couple of weeks are going to be for you. Rest, rest, rest! DH should be making dinner and bringing it to you.

Charlie, your hcg levels sound great! Good luck with your scan next week. The first trimester does kind of drag on a bit. By the time you are ready to have bub you will be wondering where the time has gone.

Kam, it is very difficult when you reach those important milestones in your pregnancy. I hope the scan next week gives you some comfort. Are your doctors going to give you some extra scans or appts over the next couple of weeks? Bub having some extra attention might help calm your nervous.

cmeglles, welcome to our group. I am very sorry that you have had to find us but there are a bunch of very supportive ladies in here. Do you have a dating scan scheduled?

not much going on here. I am just waiting for my scan on monday. After this scan I know that my anxiety levels are going to go through the roof. The 17 week scan has been the one where problems have started to appear. In 4 weeks we will have a better idea of how this bub is doing and if we are going to be able to bring him/her home.

[Ellie]

Hi girls

Well we're almost there...just get through tonight...leave home at 5am to be admitted at 6.30am and we're the first c section of the day...will text BG who will post a BA for us...but probably won't be till late as we still haven't decided on names lol!!!

Thank you all so much for your prayers, love and support...still praying that bub will be all ok and safely in our arms tomorrow morning...couldn't have got through the emotional rollercoaster without you.

With love and sincere thanks

E xxx

[dory]

Ellie - you have no idea how excited I was to see there was a post from you, as I was a day ahead of myself. Never mind! I have tears in my eyes and I am so excited with anticipation and at the same time nervous for you. I know I will not have any sense of relief until I am holding an earthside bubs in my arms, so understand your feelings totally. You should be through to the other side of your caesar. now. Hope DH didn't faint!

I hope you are recovering well and these precious moments are all you hoped them to be. Dont worry about names - the right name will come, just get through the important bit first! My love to you and your family.

[Laney]

Ellie, congratulations on the arrival of your second miracle DD. I told you that I would be wrong about baby being a boy. I hope that you are recovering well. Massive hugs

[CharlieB]

Ellie - huge congratulations on the arrival of your DD! It's so inspiring to see the success stories. I hope these first few days have been really special for you.

[KAM]

Congratulations Ellie!

I agree with CharlieB it's so inspirational.

[Miss.B]

Hi girls,

Congratlulations Ellie on the arrival of your second DD!! Well done hun! Enjoy this special time.

Mummyof4, I'm so sorry to hear of the stress you're going through ATM. I really hope the bleeding stops very soon so you can feel a bit better. Big hugs!

CharlieB, Cam's oral thrush is much better now. He is so much more settled which is great. GL with your dating scan hun, I'm sure you'll see that beautiful heart beat very soon!

Cmeglles, welcome sweetie!! So glad you could join the wonderful ladies in here

Girls, reading through your posts it breaks my heart that you're feeling so anxious going through your pg. I remember what it was like for me, sometimes it was pretty stressful. But I hung in there, and I know that you will get there too. Take one day at a time, and every day remind yourself how well you are doing, and how truly blessed you are to have those precious bubbas in your bellies. Make every day special, and try to enjoy your pg as hard as it is to do. When the bubbas arrive, you'll miss your bellies and the little kiscks and hiccups!! You can do it girls, I know you can. Thinking of you all and sending you massive hugs.

B xxx

[dory]

Congrats Ellie - I can never ever guess a boy or a girl in advance....

Beata - Such wise words sweetie. Thankyou! I try to put that very mantra into practise, but not always as successful as I would hope...Glad Cameron's oral thrush is clearing up. I think it's a marvel that he is now 8 weeks old, and still so handsome Give the cheeky monkey a big hug!

Charli - can't wait to hear.....

Laney - same for you - 17th tomorrow.... hope you are excited and not too anxious......

[Ellie]

Hi girls

Just a quick post from hossy...all going great...dream baby...sleeping and eating like a champion...one rough night before milk came in she was just sooooo hungry!!! In absolute bliss today with DD1 asleep in pram DH asleep on bed and DD2 asleep in cot...one big happy family...thank goodness we got the big flash room!!! WIll be back later with details.

Exxx

[CharlieB]

Hi everyone,

Ellie - thanks for popping in, I'm so happy to hear that things are going well, two beautiful daughters, how divine! Enjoy the bliss!!

Laney - was thinking of you today, hope the scan bought nothing but good news.


Beata - thank you so much for your post the advice was really helpful. Glad to hear that Cam has settled.

KAM - how are you feeling? did you mention you have a scan tomorrow as well? Good luck!!

Mo4 - hope the bleeding has settled down and things are ging well xx

Dory - hope you're feeling well and enjoying all the resting! How did the Feliway go? Hope it's been drier around your house!!

cmeglles - still lurking around? hope the little bean is behaving for now, pop in and let us know?

AFM - scan is Wednesday. Terrified. Can't believe how much I took for granted last time. It's funny but I though that everything would feel a bit better after my BFP, instead it seems to have bought everything that happened with my beautiful angel right back up to the surface. Hopefully seeing a little bean with a healthy heartbeat will help!!

Take care
xx