I think you probably have a good idea of what would be normal behaviour for you and what wouldn't. I would imagine a slightly higher level of anxiety would be expected after what you've been through.
When Lucy was tiny, I would wake up in the night and go into a panic if I couldn't feel her in bed beside me (mostly she slept in her cradle, so I'm not sure where this came from). It would take a few seconds for me to tell myself she was okay even if she wasn't right beside me. And I didn't come into motherhood with any previous losses or sorrow.
I think our mothering instincts are at full ball when our little ones are new. For your mind to be going into overdrive I think would be expected. If you feel you aren't coping or these things are starting to intrude on being able to do normal activities I would talk to someone who may be able to help you, as others have suggested.
Hi Michelle,
I do know that what you are feeling to some degree is pretty normal even for those who have not lost a baby. When I came home from the hospital with my son a few years ago, I was completely paranoid about everything and anything happening to him. I would invent really stupid scenarios in my head about what might happen, for example, I was scared to cross the road incase a car came out of no where, and a really stupid one, I was terrified that a magpie would peck him as we had magpies out the front of our house. Just a few of the weird things I thought about and I eventually settled down and was not so bad. But now being pregnant again, I am really starting to worry about SIDS etc too. I guess you should do what you have to do to get through and if that means checking up on him every 5 mins, then do it. I hope you are not too stressed about it
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