Hi Michelle

I think you probably have a good idea of what would be normal behaviour for you and what wouldn't. I would imagine a slightly higher level of anxiety would be expected after what you've been through.

When Lucy was tiny, I would wake up in the night and go into a panic if I couldn't feel her in bed beside me (mostly she slept in her cradle, so I'm not sure where this came from). It would take a few seconds for me to tell myself she was okay even if she wasn't right beside me. And I didn't come into motherhood with any previous losses or sorrow.

I think our mothering instincts are at full ball when our little ones are new. For your mind to be going into overdrive I think would be expected. If you feel you aren't coping or these things are starting to intrude on being able to do normal activities I would talk to someone who may be able to help you, as others have suggested.

The feeling never goes way entirely though!