Good morning everyone,

I am not sleeping particularly well atm and thought I would vent my spleen in the wee hours (Great sunrise this morning in Melbourne btw its going to be a hot one!)

I am seeing Dr tonight for BT results and to get referral to Obs and hospital. I am feeling a little apprehensive and excited at the same time.

From time to time since finding out I am pg last week I have found myself feeling somewhat anxious, worrying that something is not right with the baby or about the uncertainties what lies ahead.

Admittedly I am generally just a bit tired,emotional, bloated, sometimes nauseous with sore bbs hehe.

I am still getting over the shock and happy suprise of conceiving so quickly and easily (presuming of course everything is ok which i am trying to think positively it is and of course for which i am grateful for!)

During my childhood my mother was always quite dramatic about how hard it was to finally conceive (after apparently many M/Cs poor thing) me and brother, it took 7 years for me and 4 years for him. She is a ball of negative nervous energy when talking about it. Which is of course understandable. I have been thinking about this alot lately.

Anyway, DH and I had not shared with our parents our intent to get pregnant . I am feeling a bit reluctant to share our news with my mum and dad at this stage as I feel maybe a bit guilty about how easy it seems to have been (touch wood) and worried that she will (not deliberately of course) give off the nerves which I worry will make me more nervous. I am not particularly close to my mum because she generally is quite nervy and pessimistic and I have had to work hard to minimise those traits in my character. I generally do not turn to my mum and dad for support. I suspect that once DH and I tell them (understandably) my parents will want to catch up more etc etc which is great but which I at this point in time do not feel like I can deal with alot of exposure to my mum in particular.

I feel guilty that I have shared the news with a few close friends and not with parents including parents and parents in law who will be genuinely excited and will only be able to express that in the way that they know good or bad.

The other thing is I am quite anxious about going to hospital, I have only had cause to go to hospital for emergencies which have not been good (eg after a very bad car accident when i was in high school). I have had alot of surgery on my back and a bit frightened about the thought of an epidural (which i understand is not mandatory but may be helpful).

Overall I know that this time going to hospital is going to be a good means to a great end but can't help feeling more than a little stressed about it when i think about the busines end of proceeding.

My question is, has anyone else navel gazed this much and felt this sort of anxiety (perhaps not for the same reason) since finding out they were pg? How do you feel about the impending changes in your life, telling your family, going to hospital etc.

If you have felt this sort of anxiety, how have you dealt with it (as i am sure it is not a good thing to keep feeling this way?)

Thanks for listening - I feel a little bit better for actually thinking through and putting to paper how i feel and will talk to Dr about some of these things tonight

Cheerio BB77.