Wow, thank you all for your insightful replies!

I think you've all made some really good points. Persephone in particular, I have already discussed with him hiring a doula. I told him we will need her to guide us BOTH, and explained that the doctors and nurses aren't going to hang around for hours on end watching me labour. He agreed that a doula would be a good idea. I definitely think her presence will help ensure my wishes (where possible) are honoured.

I have also considered the possibility of him overriding my decision and saying "GIVE THIS WOMAN SOME DRUGS! NOW!" As a matter of fact, it's something I know he would do. Not because he would want to specifically ignore my wishes, but because it's about what he's comfortable with. We're both first timers at this, and I think he will struggle seeing me suffer. Tashybabe: I love the marathon analagy. I might put that to him when the time is right. He's definitely an alpha male. It will take some time for his perceptions to change.

Cherished: I like your idea of putting it to him as more of a 'go with the flow' kind of plan. I did say to him that I am open to whatever possibilities arise. If I'm not coping, I will by all means accept pain relief or intervention, but only when neccesary. I think he's just grappling with the idea of me purposely turning down relief when I'm in pain. I don't think men understand why we would do that. Up until recently, I didn't understand why or how women had natural births!

To those of you I didn't mention by name, thank-you, and I found all of your advice very helpful.