This morning my partner confronted me with a contact number for an abortion clinic because he thought that I didn't want our baby. I am 10 weeks pregnant and very moody, but my partner believes with his whole heart that the pregnancy is making me so unhappy and depressed that we need to get a termination. He told me he wants our relationship to go back to being happy. We both want this baby more than anything, we express that thought to each all the time, it's just I don't think my partner believes me when I say it.
What do I do? Everytime he talks about the future, I feel like I have no control over it and I burst into tears from being scared. I am always crying or getting angry but I know I want my baby. How do I make him believe that?
On another note, there is obviously a fine line between mood swings and depression... What does it sound like I have? And how could I tell the difference? What can I do to control the moods for my partner's sanity?
Sorry to hear how you've been feeling. I would strongly suggest going to your Local GP and having a chat with them. But also remember on top of everything, it's a very hormonal time and there are ALOT of emotions that pregnant women experience. I would not like to tell you what is wrong as I have no right to do that, it's the Dr's place, but at the same time if it helps at all, DH thinks Im an angry moody cow alot ot the time at the moment....
I too would suggest you go see your GP. Take your partner with you so that he may start to understand why you are feeling/behaving the way you are. If it is depression, your GP will be able to tell you and offer you some advice.
Your hormones are all over the place right now, they should ease off shortly, at around 12 weeks your body finishes creating the placenta and I found that was when my moods calmed down a lot.
Maybe also Google hormones or moods in pregnancy and see if you can find some info to show your partner.
Hi - you sound like you've having a rough time and your emotions are all over the place. Being pregnant is such a bizarre time emotionally. I think there is a really wide range of what's considered normal but if you and your partner are worried (and it sounds like you are) then I would agree with Webmeg - go and see your GP - either ask them to assess you or ask for a referral to a psychologist who deals with PND regularly. You probably need a face to face assessment as depression can present in a number of different ways for different people. Depression and anxiety during pregnancy is reasonably common, it doesn't always wait until after the birth. I am not saying you are depressed but getting assessed and keeping an eye on yourself throughout your pregnancy and then beyond is the best thing for you, your DH and your baby.
The other thing you could do is check websites like Beyond Blue - they have quick/brief questionnaires you can do online as well as heaps of information and resources on depression and PND. This may help you as well as you DP decide if you need to do anything further. I'm not sure how you convince your DH you want the baby - keep doing what your doing in telling him I guess. Ask him to come to see the GP with you perhaps?
I wish you all the best and I hope those pesky hormones settle down for you soon. (For what it's worth, I agree with Webmeg, my DP has told me that I am snappy and very quick to take offence and go on the offensive after innocent comments or questions from him. I also really really want my baby but at the same time I'm quite scared about the future and have had at least one major freak out per week so far).
Firstly i think that it was wrong of your DP to confronted you with a termination contact number but thats my opinion. Pregnancy is a very emotional time and yeah your moody, cranky and sometimes appear unhappy but its normal. Your body is going through so many changes and the first time is always scary. the second + times well thats another story.
From my point of view maybe your DP needs to learn more about pregnancy and the changes you will go through. Maybe get some books, do some classes get him to understand that all the things your going through are normal and to be expected.
My first i was 19 it wasnt planned and we werent financially secure. There were so many things going on through my head DP and i were fighting like cat and dog, he didnt know if i was happy, sad, etc. He constantly would tell me he loved me then be yelling at me cos i was snapping... It wasnt until we did some classes and i brought home some books and would read them aloud at night that he started understanding pregnancy and women's behaviour, emotions, hormones etc. Maybe try sitting down with him (yeah there'll be tears, lots of mixed emotions etc) tell him exactly how your feeling and what your going through...
i remember my 1st i had no real idea whta was happening, no clue as to why i was crying, yelling, moody, loving one minute and not wanting to be touched the next. Just know its normal and that things work out you just need to both understand whats ahead. Good luck
I've had a lot of experience (unfortunately for me) with depression. Both having it myself and having it in my family. One thing that you need to know is that depression is really really common. Many more people have it than we realise - just start talking about it to people and you'll find that out (I did). You don't have to actually feel seriously depressed to have treatable, clinical depression. You don't have to be suicidal, you don't have to have no good feelings at all, etc.
The next thing you need to know about depression (and anxiety, and other similar illnesses) is that these things are very treatable. Especially when treated earlier rather than later. There are many approaches to treatment and a high success rate. There are many ways of tackling depression that are totally safe for pregnant women and their babies, both medication and non-medication treatments.
If you thought you might possibly have any other kind of illness (diabetes, say, or bronchitis, or anything else you can think of) that was common and treatable, you'd go to your GP and ask them about it. So I really think you should do the same thing here, just in case there is something going on that is treatable. Much much better to go sooner than later, and I hope you'll find your GP is sensitive to your worries and has sensible things to say about it (if not you need to see a different GP).
Like the other posters, I am not saying you are depressed. I can't possibly tell But if I were experiencing the things you describe, I would go to my doctor and discuss it with them, and I would do it as soon as possible. You have nothing to lose and lots to gain, so give it a go.
Firstly I think if you want to keep this baby, as it certainly sounds like you do, Just straight out tell your partner to please not mention that option again and let him know that you do truly want this baby but you are going through a few things and tha you'll seek help and you would like his support.
I think you really should get in to see someone and make sure some action is taken. This is a whole new step and there is a lot of questions and a lot of unknown but the goodnews is there is an answer for it all becoming a parent is just a journey and like no one tells an animals what to do it's kinda the same with us instinct kicks in and other than that there will be many many ppl in the community and around to help you out, its just a matter of identifying them and reaching out.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I recommend getting in contact with someone who has walked the walk and go through every little concern and worry you have and when you can talk it out and get the solutions it might help a lot.
And on the medical side if some medication would help well then your gp would definitely be able to help you with that too
A sticky situation
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But if I were experiencing the things you describe, I would go to my doctor and discuss it with them, and I would do it as soon as possible. You have nothing to lose and lots to gain, so give it a go.
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