yep will be having rum balls, i dont go much on trifle usually, that soggy cake texture doesnt do much for me, but for some strange reason i have wanted trifle for a week now, so i dare say i will be having some. i dont believe the amount in xmas food matters too much, i know when i make rum balls 2tbs rum between 50 balls doesnt seem to mean much. i made mini puddings the other day, dd and dsd have eaten 1 or 2 each. if you are concerned you can always ask if its rum essence as i know a lot of people make them that way now, and pretend your concerned for your dd eating them.
Whatever you're comfortable with, go with it.