Well i can't tell you any info about going to see your dad cuz i don' tknow....
But it looks like we are going thru the same ages together my DS is about 14months old and i'm 6weeks pregnant again.

I say get yourself a doula for a support person. she can help you prepare for the birth and help you thru the birth. You can totally birth a baby. My DS was also 8lb2oz with no drugs and no tears and I am very tiny (under 45kg normally) so do not believe the crap about a baby being too big for you unless you have GD ~ even then it can be debatable.
Shoulder Distocia isn't to do with babies size but babies position. Find information about how to encourage baby to be in the right position for the birth. A doula can also provide you with this information and encouragement to do so.

If bfing is done right then it shouldn't hurt. your doula should also be able to help you post birth to get a good latch, otherwise find a LC before bub is born and meet her so then when bub is born and you need help you already have a relationship with one who can help you.

It is different being pregnant second time round cuz yes you can't lay around sleeping all day (i had insomnia at night and i slept most of the day too), however i'm sure the pregnancy will go alot quicker cuz you will be much busier.

Every pregnancy is different you may have nothing wrong with this baby and it is perfectly healthy. Take problems as they come

I hope I have been some help ~ I definately recommend a doula though! To calm you down and encourage you to have confidence in your body. xx All the best.

p.s Congratulations