thread: Thinking about taking our daughter to the birth of this baby

  1. #1
    froofy Guest

    Thinking about taking our daughter to the birth of this baby

    Our daughter seems keen to come to the birth of our bubs on the way. We've told her she can if she wants, but has to have someone with her to look after her, and we would want her to watch a video of a birth to see if she still wants to after seeing that. We've also told her that if she ever wanted to leave the room, or change her mind, she can do that too.

    My fiance's eldest was at the birth of his baby girl, and he was four (they had no choice, as the ex went into labour too fast for help to arrive) and it seemed to be a really bonding experience.

    Has anyone else done this with their kids, and what advice do you have? Thanks

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Member

    Jun 2005

    Hi Froofy - I guess it all comes down to the type of child yuor DD is. By the sounds of it you have covered all of your bases with preparation and options she can have during the birth. From what i can calculate your DD will be 5 or even close to 6 years of age by the time bubs will be here and she will probably have asked you all the questions about how and why in relation to the birth but i agree that maybe she should see a video first as long as she understands that it could be a very long process (not quick like a video would portray) and mummy may not always have a smile on her face IYKWIM #-o .

    I had a friend whos 3 1/2 year old DS ended up being at his Sisters birth only this june, as mum went into labour 4 weeks early and as it was 6 in the morning they took him with them and thier support person in the hope he would soon be collected by a relative. However bubs would not wait and her brother got to see it all (from behind his mothers head - as he was sitting with his dad). They have a photo of him helping to cut the cord which will be a tresured memory. I am not sure at that age how he felt or what his thoughts were but by no means was it a difficult labour, so i guess he wasn't scared or worried for his mum.

    My only advice to you is to listen to your heart and as long as your DD is well prepared and the person responsible for her is aware of your and her wishes then go for it.

    Good Luck

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Member

    Jun 2005


    I was 13.5 when my mum had my sister and I was there to watch the birth. It wasn't planned, I was at the hospital in the waiting room when my dad came out and got me and took me in. I arrived just as she was crowning. It was a wonderful experience but also a little bit frightening even for a teenager - I think it was all the blood etc that spooked me out a bit.

    Just be prepared for the fact that your dd may not find it as wonderful as you would hope and that she also might find all the blood and the fact that her mummy is in pain a bit frightening.

    And also being at such a young age do you think her attention span will last? I mean if you have a short labor great, but if it is lengthy is she also going to be able to last? Little ones get very tired and very bored quickly. Just some thoughts and I hope I haven't dissuaded you!

    Good luck either way!

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2005
    Bunbury, WA

    As with everyone elses responses... sounds like youve got the right preparations in mind..

    A carer for her, the ability to leave if she wants, and preeducation about it..

    Some hints ive read of:
    Like someone mentioned about you being in pain: teaching her that its a productive pain (theres a better word, but I cant think).. Explain to her that you may act strange etc. (Im sure you know what I mean)
    Pack activity bag etc for her (colouring in, other stuff too) Just make sure its nothing that is going to be noisy and irritating to you in labour, when you need to focus.

    Did you search on BB for this subject? I think it may have come up before.

    I dont see any problem (depending ofc on the individual childs temprement) with them being present at a siblings birth.. As long as you prepare them, and have full back up plans etc.

    Good luck, and I look forward to hearing how it went!

    (I also hope to one day have my children at their siblings births.. I believe birth is a natural and beautiful thing that is hidden already more than it should be.. same as breastfeeding!!!).. hehe

    Take care,

  5. #5
    oneisneverenough Guest

    I had my children present when our last baby was born. I had a homebirth, so they were all on my bed with me. They coped beautifully. I did however have them out the room for most of the labour, and when I had the urge to push, they were called into the room.
    I did it this way, since I didn't think I would be able to concentrate while they were talking.
    My midwives knew what I had wanted, so they even clamped my sons umbilical cord higher than usual, so that they all had a chance at 'cutting the cord'. My oldest 'seperated' us and the others trimmed it up.
    We talked ALOT about birth during my pregnancy. We also borrowed a book from the library that my midwife told me about,
    "Hello Baby, by Lizzy Rockwell" We read that alot. It is written from a childs point of view, about what to expect when Mummy is having a new baby.
    There is nothing more natural in the world, than watching the birth of your sibling. Very very special thing for them to share.
    My son will be 1yr old next week, and my kids still talk about his birth and can't wait until we have another baby so that they can all be present again.
    Goodluck & keep us posted.

  6. #6
    froofy Guest

    Thanks, everyone I will have to look for that book