What have you told people who guessed you were pregnant, before 12 weeks?

[blessedatlast]

Why do so many people hide their pregnancies? I can understand from bosses, or people that may not be close (work acquaintances etc) but why hide it from your friends?? Especially if they guess.. I could understand not mentioning it, but to go to so much trouble to conceal it is a very strange concept to me.. Especially til 12 weeks.. If you had a M/C wouldn't you want the support of friends? I am also of the opinion that there is never a 'safe' time, so the til 12 weeks seems strange to me.. I hope I don't sound rude, I'm genuinely curious..

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Because my mother was pretty nasty to me about my pregnancy and mothering skills whilst pg and that was a major stressor, plus none of the iLs thought to mention it to DH that his brother and his wife were expecting #2, so DH and I decided not to tell family until the baby was here and actually enjoy the pregnancy second time around.

As for friends - I'd tell some local friends and BB friends, but not people who would mention it to family or push me to do medically stuff, so most of my old friends are out!

I will also point out that most of those who I wouldn't mind telling wouldn't be so rude as to ask me if I were pregnant.

[OceanPrincess]

BAL, for me it was the fear of "untelling" people that stopped us. Which then morphed in to wanting to tell people I'd miscarried and not knowing how. Some of my friends handled it dreadfully, some were great.

I always tell some people IRL - the ones that I'd want to support me.

[Traveller]

I hid my last one because, having just dealt with a miscarriage that everybody knew about (and it was great to have support, but also saddening to lose the friends who couldn't deal with my grief) it was nice to just keep this one to myself. I didn't tell my family because I was emigrating to Scotland and wanted to surprise them with my big belly at the airport but they found out 2 weeks before when DH accidentally let it slip over the phone. That wasn't until 18 weeks though.

[PumpkinZulu]

BAL, with my first few pregnancies, I m/c early on. So with DD, I was so excited and overjoyed, DH and I decided to share her pregnancy straight away, because even if she couldn't stay, we wanted people to know she was loved and important, and we wanted the support if things went either way.

With this pregnancy, I don't really have any intention of announcing any time soon, and I'll be 12 weeks tomorrow. This pregnancy was wry unplanned, and honestly, in those early days, fairly unwanted Although we're becoming excited and happy about it now, we still have freak out moments and we're still getting there. So telling other people...we don't want to have to fake an emotion we may not be feeling at one very moment. Also, our families will not be very accepting (we hope they will be, but it's not likely) because of DD's age. We would never have actively chosen a pregnancy at this time; DH is still a student, working full time hours in a casual (aka unstable) position, I'm a SAHM...we're working on our marriage after a rough year etc. So for us, not sharing our pregnancy until later is really important in bonding with this baby and accepting our new life. I hope that makes sense.

[Lolpigs]

BAL, with my first few pregnancies, I m/c early on. So with DD, I was so excited and overjoyed, DH and I decided to share her pregnancy straight away, because even if she couldn't stay, we wanted people to know she was loved and important, and we wanted the support if things went either way.

With this pregnancy, I don't really have any intention of announcing any time soon, and I'll be 12 weeks tomorrow. This pregnancy was wry unplanned, and honestly, in those early days, fairly unwanted Although we're becoming excited and happy about it now, we still have freak out moments and we're still getting there. So telling other people...we don't want to have to fake an emotion we may not be feeling at one very moment. Also, our families will not be very accepting (we hope they will be, but it's not likely) because of DD's age. We would never have actively chosen a pregnancy at this time; DH is still a student, working full time hours in a casual (aka unstable) position, I'm a SAHM...we're working on our marriage after a rough year etc. So for us, not sharing our pregnancy until later is really important in bonding with this baby and accepting our new life. I hope that makes sense.

Tell them to go suck a lemon PZ, I'll have the same thing from my family and I've already decided after someone nice on BB told me its your family your decision. I'll have the same issue, DD is only 7mths old atm so will be not even 2 when this baby arrives.

[beansbeans!]

BAL, We never hid pregnancies, we more so kept it to ourselves until we got used to the idea. With DD1 she was a major surprise and we took a little bit of time to get our head round the idea of being parents when being parents was never on the cards for us (Dh and I started our relationship o with both of us never wanting children, or even marriage, but now we have both and wouldnt want it any other way). With DD2 we were essentially homeless in that we were moving towns, had given notice on our current house and whilst moing out the house the real estate had said we could have changed and we were left staying at DH's parents house.
DD3 on the other hand, I was in denial for a long time beore I took the hpt. People were telling me that I was complaining about pregnancy symptoms, and I reused to believe so would blow it of.

So for us it wasnt about hiding the pregnancies, but more so giving ourselves the time to celebrate privately, get our heads round the idea of little munchkins running around, and working out the perfect way to tell people.

[Lolpigs]

Why do so many people hide their pregnancies? I can understand from bosses, or people that may not be close (work acquaintances etc) but why hide it from your friends?? Especially if they guess.. I could understand not mentioning it, but to go to so much trouble to conceal it is a very strange concept to me.. Especially til 12 weeks.. If you had a M/C wouldn't you want the support of friends? I am also of the opinion that there is never a 'safe' time, so the til 12 weeks seems strange to me.. I hope I don't sound rude, I'm genuinely curious..

Yep I have always thought it was weird too, I guess it comes from a time when you didnt talk about that sort of thing? also i hope your little one is doing well now hun little fighter

[Kass79]

Hi. We are contemplating if we should tell or not tell. It's a strange situation for us, as my DP and I have been together for 8 months. But we've known each other for 8 years. I have 4 boys, clearly none which belong to DP, and this is his first. So, knowing his mother, we aren't sure how she'll take it. It'll be her first grand child, and we should tell her before we tell anyone. But on one hand I think, who cares, just tell her, but the other hand says, do you really want a lecture today? So I don't want to hide it, but timing is very off, as it wasn't planned, and we are still getting used to the idea ourselves.

I have never hidden a pregnancy until 12 weeks, and this will be my 13th pregnancy. I think the more support you have, is do much better than dealing alone, with a keeper or a miscarriage. I am glad for all the support I've had, and will continue to share my happiness and sadness, we just have to find the right time to tell MIL....I know she'll get used to the idea, it may just take some time.

[Lolpigs]

I have a MIL like that Kass, we are telling them today. I'll just be telling her we are happy and it was out decision and wont listen to any lecturing.. if it was your and your partners decision who is she to tell you what to do? Least that is how I see it.

Hope all goes ok

[Kass79]

Thanks. I think we may be telling them next weekend.....I'm a bit scared lol. But you're right, it's our choice and our baby. Good luck yourself today Lolpigs

[love.tillie]

Hi,

This time we are waiting til 12 weeks, just so we can see our scan and our little bubs ticking away before telling ppl officially. I have told 2 GF that i am very close to and my DH has told one of his mates over the w/e. But really we want to wait. Just for us really, we have a few family incidences of pregnancy announcements b4 12 weeks and then then miscarriage b4 12 found at the 12 week scan. We definitely want to wait b4 telling my DD's 12.5 and 10.5 yrs....

Only 4 weeks to go!!

[lady_neon]

We told family at 12 weeks. DH was petrified of MC & I think couldn't believe it until he saw a little bean in a picture that he could then show people, if that makes sense. We however both did tell our respective BF's much earlier. My younger brother worked it out straight away (5/6 weeks) didn't say anything, but he knew that I knew that he knew.. haha