why do women feel the need to share their horror stories?

[belfie]

Firstly, wow this is just such a fascinating thread!

It's funny, I was actually in the "I don't want kids" camp for quite some years (gosh that feels shocking to admit in here!), and looking back (after the overnight change of mind) I realise a lot of it was based on fear. The number of people who used to whinge/complain/gripe at us about pregnancy/birth/parenthood was phenomenal... and then at the end they'd say, so are you guys having kids? Our running joke was that it was the worst marketing strategy ever!

When I changed my mind, all my rational reasons for "not having" didn't change one bit... just the emotions/hormones/heart said yeeeeeees. And amazingly enough, so did DH's! I'm going into this with my eyes open and I can't wait for this exciting thrilling change in my life.

So far I haven't copped too many bad stories, but I tell you what, I'll borrow some of the great lines from you lovely ladies when I do!

[SamiH]

I think this falls into the same category of - why do people think it is suddenly ok to pat your stomach without asking????

I had two relatively easy stress free pregs and births, and then 2 miscarriages - one a missed m/c. I had no idea like Kitt3n said that a missed m/c was so common until joining BB - so maybe you should recommend those sharing to join BB ....

I suppose I might fall into that category occasionally though as depending on who I am talking to, I say this is my 5th preg, but I don't do the gory details.

Good luck
Sam

[BeHappyEveryOne]

Just wonted to say Congratulations

Maybe point out to these women that you are stressed and don't need to hear it.

Good Luck

[mumrach]

Sami H- I am in total agreeance with you on the whole BELLY TOUCHING ISSUE!! I love my family touching it and feeling the kicks, but so many people that I don't really know used to love touching my belly. It used to really give me the creeps....

[leebee81]

Nothing used to annoy me more when I was pregnant that listening to other women tell me how horrible their experience was, how I'd *have* to have drugs/epidural, and how I'd never get any sleep. Only one woman told me a positive story and basically said to me that I'd be right. A big pooey to everyone who doubted me, because I had a great labour - I'd go as far as saying an easy labour. It didn't get hugely painful until the baby crowned, but even then I was so focused on getting it out that it wasn't unbearable. I make a point to tell women when they ask that it wasn't nearly as bad as everyone makes out and that its entirely doable without drugs. So many women still look at me like I'm stupid for not having an epidural which still drives me nuts.

[~Belinda~]

Same here leebee...I had a relatively quick labour (5 hrs) for my first and so many women gave me horror stories. I didn't have an epi either, just gas and a peth shot but that didn't kick in anyway until after she came out. I was induced too and although your contractions came hard and fast, I got through it! Shame on all those mothers who made me fear labour!!!!!

[The[cookie]Doctor]

My MIL was the worst.

In the first week we knew i was pregnant she told me how bad her labour was and how many m/c she had to get her three kids. Hello it's MY turn, i want a positive experience OK? All she did after the birth was complain about how much longer she had to push for (I only pushed for eight minutes )

I too had an amazing and fantastic birth. I ENJOYED it so much that it's made me want to be a midwife, so I can support women through it, so they can have as empowering and liberating, CHOICE experiences like mine! This is my birth story if you're up for a lookie - but it is 5000 words long .

Wishing you a H&H pregnancy hun, and don't listen to anyone. I say do what Rosehip_Fairy says and if anyone tells you how horribloe birth is ask them why so many women go back for more.