why do women feel the need to share their horror stories?

[Gigi]

i had a "horror'' labour and delivery - and i discovered, after i survived this, there is nothing to "do" with that trauma and experience afterwards. Everyone is focussed on the new baby, it's like what i had just gone thru had never happened (as far as everyone else was concerned.) No debrief, no medical explanation, nothing. So i have alot of unresolved grief about what we went thru.

i have since found out, another hospital i could have delivered at, actually has a mental health nurse who visit new mothers, to debrief them, get them any support services they need etc.

i never thought i would need any of that, i was all ready for a home water birth! things can change so mfast!

I accept what happened to me was a rare occurence, really freaky. When i hear someone else is pregnant, i feel happy for them, and don't expect that they will have a freak delivery like me. I wouldn't bore them with my experience as i realise it was rare, and highly unlikely to happen to them as well.

i enjoyed being pregnant, would love another bub (but that isn't going to happen) and feel all happy when i meet other people who are newly pregnant. I like to concentrate on the positives of them being pregnant.

when they get the aches and pains of pregnancy, i like to share things that helped me - e.g the full body pillow - but only if i think it might be relevant to what they're going thru at the time.

After taking five years to conceive, i was so elated to be pregnant.
Lots of people told me horror stories too, i hated that.

there is a forum called JOYOUS BIRTH - i think you will get positive support there.


i started going to monthly Homebirth meetings in my city, that was very positive (the downside was though, i was totally unprepared for what happened, when my homebrith turned into an emergency c-sction.)

I would say enjoy your pregnancy

Nurture the little one inside you

You are a mum NOW, even before baby is born

it's precious, that every day, that baby is growing and developing, so special.

Take the time to photograph your belly, and treasure the time you are pregnant.

Find support and keep going to that place.

all the best !

[~Belinda~]

Sorry to hear that Gigi

[Chippy]

My DPs Mum is the worst. While she is very excited and has told the world (even though we asked her not to!) she keeps telling us not to get excited and then proceeds to tell us about all her miscarriages and the baby she had who was born still. I've heard the story at least 20 times in the last 8 weeks.

It does make sense though that the horror stories come from a place of trauma for the Mamas who tell them. There's such silence around the impact of pregnancy and birth loss and trauma. The culture needs to change.