Hi everyone

I'll be 10 weeks on Monday. For about four weeks now I've been feeling constantly nauseous - from the minute I get up to the minute I go to sleep, every day. I haven't been throwing up, but I'm just off food altogether (not like me at all!). I've found it to be quite draining on me physically and emotionally.

I'm wondering if feeling sick all the time has distracted me from feeling all the joy and happiness and excitement I should be feeling about being a mum for the first time? I kind of feel like it's a combination of first trimester worry about the baby being okay, and feeling so sick and tired that I have no energy left to feel anything else. The people who know about the baby ask me, am I excited? Am I thrilled? Am I thinking about how wonderful it's all going to be? And yes, I guess on one level I am thinking and feeling those things. But honestly, I was more excited about the idea of this baby before I fell pregnant!

Is this normal? Only 10 weeks into my pregnancy and I'm feeling sad about being a bad woman, wife and mother. I thought I would take to pregnancy like a duck to water - I've always wanted a baby, I've always wanted to be a mother and I thought I'd be "good" at being pregnant. My best friend had a perfect pregnancy, labour and birth, and in some ways I already feel like a failure. I'm so disappointed in myself for not embracing this with more excitement and anticipation - and I'm already worried that others must be judging me.

I should note that I do suffer from a notable level of anxiety in other aspects of my life, but this doesn't feel like that... It's like, I'm saying no to the happy emotions and choosing to focus on the tiredness and the nausea and the idea that "after 12 weeks, I can start to believe this is real". What I want is to feel happy and healthy and full of energy and excited about becoming a mum!

Can anyone relate to what I'm feeling? TIA.