I was a bit like you - not liking the idea of people fussing over me. My only baby "shower" was a farewell afternoon tea at my work before I left.

We didn't have a social gathering after the baby was born, but some friends of ours did. They sent a message after their bub was born advising that on X date they would be accepting visitors for a bbq from midday until 4pm. It was a chance for people to meet the baby and offer their best wishes, but for the new parents it meant they didn't have to "manage" lots of visitors at different times. They essentially knew that they could get all their visitors in and out in one afternoon which suited everyone.

You could always decide to do it after the baby arrives, when you have more of an idea of your capacity to entertain people. There's no reason why you have to decide now. For me, the idea of entertaining anyone in those early months was a bit daunting, but I'm a generally anxious person so it doesn't suit me anyway.