I hear you Soulful - we struggled with those same issues.
In the end we decided we'd really love a big social get together with friends before we become (temporary!) socail recluses but didn't want people to feel obligated to bring gifts.
As quite a few freinds have already offered us second hand baby goods what we felt we REALLY needed was not to have to cook! So we'll be throwing a "freezer party" where guests are encouraged to bring a long a meal we can pop into our chest freezer (watching eBay for those at the mo) - it'll be midwinter too so that fits the theme