Back on the rollercoaster again...

**Pandora** · August 11th, 2009, 07:20 AM

Today was meant to be a happy day, Matilda came home from hospital on this day last year, she has finally been safe at home for one whole year, we are meant to be celebrating that not worrying that this journey will be starting again 4 months.

......
I can do this. I will do this. I am going to be a stronger and better person for it.

....

You can do this and you will, you are an incredibly strong person to have come through everything you have so far.

It will be hard, but make today as special as you can for your family and for Matilda. You're right it is a special day for all of you.

Good luck with your pregnancy and the road you have ahead, we are all here for you

**thepixie** · August 11th, 2009, 08:16 AM

DD it seems so horribly unfair that you have to go through this again. You have every right to be sad for yourself as well as your baby. I just wish I could take it away for you. Your strength and courage are incredible, and an inspiration. But it breaks my heart that it should be asked of you again.
Secretly I'm still hoping, praying that by some kind of mistake or some kind of miracle Annabelle is born perfectly healthy.

**Madissun** · August 11th, 2009, 09:35 AM

Im so sorry you're going through this again

I wish there was some advice i could give you, but i dont have any, just support. You ARE amazing, and you ARE strong, and you WILL get through this

**Nai** · August 11th, 2009, 09:38 AM

DD. It is unfair that you have to go through this again. Sending you strength and positive vibes.

**Rommy'sMummy** · August 11th, 2009, 05:40 PM

Hi Daintree,

I am so sorry. My DS has heart disease. Different to your little ones thought. I do know from experience and meeting lots of heart bubs that there is a fair variation in how well they cope even with the same issues. So you MIGHT not have an NGT. I do know children who have had huge heart issues and have always been good feeders. So the long NGT journey may just not be in your future!

I am really sorry that you are going back into NICU though. My heart goes out to you.

My DS has had four heart surgeries at RCH so if you want to ask about any of that fire away. Also I second the thought of getting in touch with HeartKids. You want to call Tracey Stanley at RCH - ask for 7West ward. She is the parent liasion worker. And she is great! So is Leanne Foster who is also attached to 7West and is the social worker who works with families of heart kids. Really valuable help available there.

Let me know if I can help.

**maz** · August 11th, 2009, 06:15 PM

hon I take my hat off to hyou for being so strong and level headed about this. You sound so extremely positive that this birth wont be like Matilda's..yourve grown as a person and as a mum. BUT please allow yourself to cry in there somewere to get the stress out and you know were I am if you need anything

Ive got you both in my thoughts and prays.

**Pretty Butterfly** · August 11th, 2009, 06:21 PM

Babe i have read and re-read this thread a thousand times, and still dont know what to say....

But babe, you ARE strong. You CAN do this.

And when you need to fall apart, we will be here to help pick you up. I dont think I would of been so strong these past 2 years without my BB love, so, please, use us!! We all love you, and want you to speak up when you need to, and we want to applaud when your strong, and shower you with the praise you deserve.

Never forget sweets, were all a few keystrokes away.... xoxoxoxo

**DaintreeDream** · August 11th, 2009, 06:22 PM

Thankyou Rommy'sMummy, Maz and Jodie.

I am still waiting on a call to tell me when the ultrasound/meeting with the specialist will be, I have a busy day tomorrow so I bet that is when they will call.

At the moment I am just trying to figure out what it will mean for us. I really do think that it will be a better experience than the one we had with Matilda, I have faith that I will breastfeed, I am determind. I think the stay in hospital should be shorter also, maybe I am just hoping on that one though. I also think that the surgery, although it will be on her heart, might not be so bad, Matildas face was so swollen and to see two huge pins hanging out of your daughters jaw is horrible not to mention the lengthening

so I really do think this will be better.

I will keep you all posted as I find out more.

Thankyou for your ongoing support.

**helle** · August 11th, 2009, 06:33 PM

Originally posted by Bathsheba
I believe that our spirits/souls need perfecting before they can be compatible with the Heaven dimension. So, how better to improve the soul than to actually give it a challenge. It's a bit like a muscle... the only way to strengthen a muscle is for it to exert... to strain against something... to hurt a bit in the process of "excercising". Does a muscle grow strong by being allowed to rest... to recline on a comfy chair? or would it become stronger by joining a boot camp? And what if the person running the boot camp detected a bit of potential in a particular participant? Would they let this person have it easy? or would that person be worked a bit harder then the rest? It would seem understandable that the person who is naturally a bit stronger than the rest be worked a bit harder so that they could maximise their potential.

Cause I can't say it as well as she can! I always remember this when I get down about the rather crappy journey DF and I are on, albiet shorter than others (touch wood), to hold a bundle of our very own. It makes me feel better, like what we're going through all of this for a purpose and not just because we have crappy luck.

Sending you all my love, chick! It's hard, but like you said, you can do it! xx

**DaintreeDream** · August 11th, 2009, 06:51 PM

It is funny, I do look at other people in my life that have healthy babies and children, but I do not ask myself why it happened to me not them, I know why me, it is because I am strong, it is because I can handle it and I take the lesson I have learnt and put it to good use by bettering myself as a person and as a Mother.

I have know people who have had tiny obstacles with their babies (well tiny compared to ours) and they have not coped at all, they would not have coped with what I have been dealt, that is why I have been dealt my hand and they theirs.

I am at peace with the journey that I have been on and continue with Matilda and I feel the same with Annabelles journey. It will be hard and sometimes it will all seem to much but I am thankful for my girls and would not have it any other way.

**helle** · August 11th, 2009, 07:53 PM

It is funny, I do look at other people in my life that have healthy babies and children, but I do not ask myself why it happened to me not them, I know why me, it is because I am strong, it is because I can handle it and I take the lesson I have learnt and put it to good use by bettering myself as a person and as a Mother.

I have know people who have had tiny obstacles with their babies (well tiny compared to ours) and they have not coped at all, they would not have coped with what I have been dealt, that is why I have been dealt my hand and they theirs.

I am at peace with the journey that I have been on and continue with Matilda and I feel the same with Annabelles journey. It will be hard and sometimes it will all seem to much but I am thankful for my girls and would not have it any other way.

**Schmickers** · August 12th, 2009, 03:28 AM

Oh, this is such a huge thing for you to be dealing with. Someone pointed me towards this thread in the hopes that I could offer some advice, but unfortunately, this isn't a condition I've had much to do with. So all I can offer is

**Jennifer13** · August 12th, 2009, 08:44 AM

Just popping in to wish you all the best. I really hope this journey becomes easier for you and your family and that you find the strength to get you through it.

**DaintreeDream** · August 12th, 2009, 09:25 AM

Thankyou Michael (and the lovely person who pointed out my thread to you) and Jennifer.

This really does make me realise why I love BB so much, the support is so amazing

.

**Lenny** · August 12th, 2009, 11:40 AM

I am sorry that you are going through such a tough time again. Sending you loads of support and hugs.

**Anila** · August 12th, 2009, 12:55 PM

DD, still sending u heaps of love and support and like everyone here and even urself, i believe u are strong.

**Amity** · August 12th, 2009, 08:22 PM

DaintreeDream, you are the absolute bestest mother for your two little girls. They have chosen you for your strength, your courage, your determination, your faith and your stubbornness to get through whatever is thrown at you.

Sure, this doesn't mean that life is fair. It sure sucks sometimes - and these few days are going to be those sometimes. I can totally understand your need and want to bring your little girl straight home, without the sometimes horrific NICU/SCN journey.

Not everyone can cope with what life throws at them. You are such an admirable mother to Matilda that I am sure you are going to be fabulous with Annabelle.

Feel free to vent, cry, grieve and laugh. And let me know if there is anything at all I can do for you.

Thinking of you, DH and Matilda. Oh and Annabelle too - courage, determination and faith, young lady!

**Daydream Believer** · August 12th, 2009, 09:15 PM

hugs hun

Sending you all our love & support

thread: Back on the rollercoaster again...

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