c section acceptance

[skybie]

meow, i developed type 1 diabetes at the start of the year, i know i can go over 38 weeks if u choose to go into the hosp every second day and have montioring to see if my placenta is holding up, but the fact is the hospital is an hour away not in peak hour traffic and i have 2 little girls in tow, even my normal appointments are very stressful for me and very boring for them, do really not doable unfortunately.
Diabetes does mean an ealier delivery because the use of insulin causes the placenta to have a shorter lifecycle than normal.

Ausgirl, thanks for ur story and your tips hun, i really appreciate it.

Mel no private D doc, just whoevers on at the clinic

[berrme]

I was terrified of a c/s, really really didn't want one! But when it came to the crunch I knew it was the only way to make sure both my baby and I didn't die (I had severe PE). I did get induced with an unfavourable cervix, and the induction itself was going fine. Unfortunately my blood pressure just wouldn't stay down at a safe level and it was decided that it was time to get bub out. It was scary, but I knew I had done everything I could, and that it was for the best.
The c/s was fine. The staff were great, and my recovery was fast (even with all the extra PE drugs being pumped into me). I was still able to BF and bond with my baby.

I have had a VBAC now, and even though I know that I prefered the VB for the elation and even easier recovery that it involved, and will be gaing for VBAC2 this time, it isn't something that I think about regularly. I don't compare my children by the way the entered the world. It doesn't make me love one more than the other. For me it was a way of getting my baby out, and in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter how they came out.

[Mother Goose]

The first thing I like to ask people when they tell me they are afraid of something (especially when I'm admitting for surgery at work) is "what are you afraid of/what is concerning you?". If you can answer that question, you can then seek the answers that are going to help you to make peace with the possibility of a C-Sect.

I could tell you about my experience (induction followed by emergency C-Sect) but that won't necessarily answer the questions you have or alleviate your fears and concerns. I could give you a step by step account of what happens when you have a spinal or epidural and what will happen in the theatre. I could tell you what the most likely response to any number of scenarios in the theatre will be... but that won't necessarily address your concerns or questions. So if you can identify what it is you're afraid or worried about, you might get some more specific answers and experiences that will help you.

I think it's great you're being proactive about this too Skybie. Good for you!

MG

[skybie]

MG i think its the unknown of it all, its not something ive done before so dont know what to expect.
Having a needle put in my back scares me, not being able to move afterwards scares me. Something being amiss with bub and loosing those first few hours scares me(i know this cant be helped csection or not, but atleast with a VB i'd be able to be with him in special care) what happens if he is taken and he gets hungry and im not there? What its going to feel like afterwards,being alone in recovery not knowing whats going on with my baby, healing properly, not having my milk come in and being on reliant on someone looking after me, while i have little ppl to look after. i'm the looker afterer, not the one that needs lookingafter so its a new concept for me.

There are so many vabriables with this pregnancy and i dnt think im coping too well with it, i knwo labour always has its variables but theres so many gaps and it could go this way or it could go this ways this time around

[Mother Goose]

MG i think its the unknown of it all, its not something ive done before so dont know what to expect.
Having a needle put in my back scares me, not being able to move afterwards scares me. Something being amiss with bub and loosing those first few hours scares me(i know this cant be helped csection or not, but atleast with a VB i'd be able to be with him in special care) what happens if he is taken and he gets hungry and im not there? What its going to feel like afterwards,being alone in recovery not knowing whats going on with my baby, healing properly, not having my milk come in and being on reliant on someone looking after me, while i have little ppl to look after. i'm the looker afterer, not the one that needs lookingafter so its a new concept for me.

There are so many vabriables with this pregnancy and i dnt think im coping too well with it, i knwo labour always has its variables but theres so many gaps and it could go this way or it could go this ways this time around

Sorry hon, I've been away a couple of days. It's great you can identify some of your concerns. Let me see if I can help put your mind at ease with some of them.

The needle in your back - what specifically scares you about that? You will be given some local anesthetic at the site they are going to put the needle in. That is usually yhe most uncomfortable part of the procedure.

Not being able to feel anything afterwards - this is temporary. I promise! The length of time it take to get the feeling back is dependent on various things including the dose you're given, how well your body processes drugs and so forth. I always encourage patients who have a spinal to keep trying to move once they hit me in recovery. Most hospitals won't let you up out of bed as soon as feeling returns anyway - they will want you in bed for a minimum of 12 hours.

If something goes amiss, some hospitals will still wheel you in to SCN in your bed so you can see bubs. Check with the hospital to see what their policy is on this.

If he's hungry and you're not there, they won't give him anything. They will wait for you. This is what happened with DD and myself.

What's it going to feel like afterwards in recovery? I can guarantee you that the nurses will be talking to you about your new bub - especially if they aren't busy! And they can always call and find out what's happening for you. Some hospitals allow bubs to accompany you to recovery (providing there isn't anything wrong with either of you). CHeck with your hospital to see what their policy is about bubs going to recovery with you.

Healing properly. I can't give you guarantees about anything but if you follow the recomendations (such as not lifting anything heavier than bubs) and use proper techniques to get in and out of bed etc, you should be fine. Don't be afraid to ask for pain relief if you need it.

Not having your milk come in. This is pretty controversial when it comes to discussions about c-sect. Some will tell you the c-sect interferred with their milk production whilst many will also tell you it doesn't. I think the thing to remember is that it takes a few days for milk to come in regardless of how you birth. With a c-sect you are going to be in hospital for around 5 nights so if you're worried, you can ask for lactation consultations and seek advice or help. Being aware of it puts you ahead.

Being reliant on someone else looking after you. Hon, there are a great many people who can't deal with someone else looking after them regardless of why they need help!!! I try to remind myself it's not permanent, that it is a necessary evil to have me back on my feet. Don't be afraid, just ask for what you need.

I understand your hesitation. It's ok to be afraid or worried. Keep talking about it and asking questions.

Perhaps talk with your DH about your wishes if you require a c-sect. Write it into your birth plan. Discuss it with your care givers. Make sure you talk to them about what you want and find out what is achievable.

If you have more questions or concerns, post them and hopefully BB can help alleviate your fears and concerns!


MG

[melbel]

If he's hungry and you're not there, they won't give him anything. They will wait for you. This is what happened with DD and myself.

MG

in regards to this, Skybie is a type 1 and it is almost definite bubs will suffer low BSLs post birth and will NEED nutrition of some sort....but I am not sure if they have told you what your options are. You can ask for it to be syringe or tube fed hun so he doesn't have a bottle and you can , as I did, pre express colostrum for him so there is less need for formula....the colostrum may be enough, some bubbas like mine are a little more stubborn and need a bit of formula or donated breastmilk as well to get those bsls up outta their boots. My obstetrician who is the head of fetal medicine at MMC was happy for me to express from about 34ish weeks so it is something to think about...also with your little one's heart issues he will likely be in SCN/NICU for a while so I would be thinking about investing in a good double electric breast pump, I have the medela freestyle and it was my lifesaver those first few days...it will also help your milk to come in an give you something productive to do as it can get quite lonely and disconcerting post birth when bubba is not with you.

[Mother Goose]

Perhaps ask if you can BF in theatre whilst they are stitching you up if you require a c-sect. that way you can start bonding immediately and hopefully negate a need for them to feed bubs if their BSL is low. Or, as Mel suggested, express some milk in advance.

[joey123]

skybie - i don't really know how to help you overcome your fear, but i have had 2 now and they were just fine. the only suggestion i can give you is regarding the epidural ... which is not just cs related, but the first time i had one, i jumped when they tried to put it in. of course nothing bad happened, but then they told me to push my bad towards them and that worked fine. the second time i was ready for the needle, and i don't even remember if it hurt or not, so it couldn't have been that bad, but i just concerntrated on my breathing and stayed as still as i could. it was just fine.

i hope you have a natural birth, perhaps try all the teas, herbs, oils, pills, etc to try and self induce your labour. gl for you. take care and all the best xx

[littlescottishboy]

I have had two c/s, both very different.
First bub i had loads of complications (placenta praevia grade 4, plus haemmorhaging) and had to have a general anaesthetic as well. Necessary for my safety and for bubs safety, but not the blissful, dreamy, 'romantic' natural birth I'd always dreamed for and hoped to have. As a result of the general, i didn't get to meet bubs till a few hours later. I was just so relieved to actually meet him and have all our scary isues over that i didn't care how he got into the world. I was more upset that i couldn;t breasfed him as he was in intensive care and needed to be tube-fed - but that's another story as he was quite sick when he was born.

Second bub, c/s again. Doc's recommendation and my preference too (i know i could have tried for a VBAC, but i seriously just wanted my baby in my arms and was scared of the previous scar rupturing if i went through with a VBAC, even though i know the risk is very low of this actually happening, and i know many people do have succesful VBACs - i just felt like it was not the option for me personally). So had a spinal block - i won't lie, i was petrified of the spinal block - but after it was in, i just laid back and was able to relax knowing i was awake and my DH was by my side. Then when she was born, I was sooooo overjoyed that i cried and cried tears of joy while they sewed me up! At that moment, I couldn't have cared less that i had had a c/s again; i had my gorgeous baby, she was healthy, and we were both okay. That was all that mattered to me.

I was able to breastfed her almost straight away - it only took about half an hour to finish me, while they did all the obs etc on bubby. I remember b'feeding her in the recovery room, and it was the most beautiful feeling ever to know that i was with her, she was with me, and all was right with the world!

I honour and respect all the multitude of opinions on the topic of c/s or VBAC, but i can only speak personally. For me, i had been through enough trauma, and all i wanted was a healthy baby in my arms (both times!). So for me, the result was more important for me than the actual process. Both my kids are gorgeous litle souls and the loves of my life. I love them to bits, and no one can tell how they arrived in the world by looking at them.

I did feel guilt for a while, kind of because i thought i 'had to feel guilty' - lots of things you read make you feel like a failure if you can't birth naturally. The guilt kind of came later. But i have now come to accept that having my babies in my arms and now in my life everyday is the most important thing to me, regardless of how they came out of my body. My body grew them, and nourished them, and for those reasons, i am proud of my body for giving me my children.

[Smoke Jaguar]

It's possible having a birth plan that covers the eventuality of a c-section will put you at ease, somewhat. To do this you will need to ask specific questions of your caregiver about what they can do to optimise breastfeeding establishment, skin to skin, holding and all of that. If you know these things will be made possible for you, then you'll feel a lot better about what is a possibility in the birth.
You will need to inform yourself to empower yourself. Please don't trust that the caregivers will do what you want if you don't have it written down adn if you haven't discussed the feasibility of what you want to have happen. I know people say birth plans are a waste of time (I didn't find this with either of my two birth plans) and how will you ever know if you don't even produce one?
Find out for yourself what is involved with induction and with c-section following induction - don't just ask the midwives, or the OB, because they often leave out bits of information that they probably assume you already know, or that they simply don't wish you to know.
You may also greatly benefit from having a doula or even an IM to be with you and make sure that whatever happens occurs with both you and the baby in mind, not just liability insurance and not *just* the baby - outcomes are mistakenly measured these days by only looking at the baby's scores and stats, but we all know that a birth outcome is actually measured by the hours, days, weeks and months that follow birth because the outcome has to keep mama well enough in mind and body to nurture that baby!
You know what I mean To accept a possible outcome, you need to inform yourself about it, and a doula or IM can help, even if they're not there at the birth and you just want to pay one to give you prenatal care and support in the lead up to the event.