Could use some advice!

[Indadhanu]

Hi, all. Well, have hit 12 weeks and feeling better about telling more people. I am am bit cautious though...

My godmother had a m/c at 12 weeks in oct last year. I don't want to upset her by telling her, but in the same respect I don't want to offend her by not telling her soon (we don't see each other often, but chat a lot and are very close, not telling her has been hard...). This is usually something I would share with her as soon as I found out, but didn't as it was very close to when she had her m/c, and she was pretty upset, but has since announced she will be TTC again (very unexpected as this one was a whoopsy! But she is a great mum, has 4 already!) .

I don't really know what's the right thing to do... I so want to tell her, but don't want to upset her, as 12 weeks was when she lost hers... Just not sure what to do? What does everyone here think?

[*mitch*]

Alisia.. I am sure your godmother will be over the moon for you....

[S'rose]

Alisia, get on the phone and tell her woman...
She may feel pain for herself which you cannot protect her from, but she will be overjoyed for you both and will probably scold you for not saying so sooner.
Don't underestimate her, and acknowledge her pain as well as the pleasure she will feel at the same time. Most of the women I know don't need to be sheltered from the baby joy of our close friends/relatives.

[Bubseykel]

I would tell her. I had a mc in August 05 and fell again in October 2005. My SIL who I'm very close with fell in December 05 and lost in December 05. She didn't tell me that she fell or lost as it was only 5 days between her finding out and being told that she lost. I felt upset that she didn't tell me. She said that she didn't want to upset me as I was just 12 weeks along when she lost.

Moral of my story - tell her otherwise she might be upset with you for not saying - not because you are pregnant. Good Luck!!

[smiles4u]

We told every1 the moment I started showin at about 4 & half mths.

One reason ws cause I ws 39 at a higher risk & we had already gone thru a loss.

The other reason ws cause it ws jst b4 Xmas & we thought it wld b g8 Xmas gift 4 all !!

If I ws a ton younger like yrslf I reckon I wld av told ever1 earlier

.... YES, tell your grandmother ... Infact she may not even think of her own previous situation as she will b jst ova the moon wt HAPPINESS 4 U (& herslf) .

I think anytime will b a reminder 4 her, so don't worry about that. BUT that is so thoughtful & lovin of U 2 b so concerned about how she wld feel.

Don't waste anytime ... YOU TELL HER !!!

... Hey, let US kno how U went !!

[nic]

Leasha, I agree with the girls, tell your godmother. She will appreciate it more hearing it from you than hearing second hand from someone else.

Nic

[Kitt3n]

She wold be stoked! Give her a buzzzz!!!

[maddysmummy]

i would tell her!! i would be upset if someone i loved held of telling me something just so they didnt hurt my feelings!

[Arimeh]

Definitely tell her... you never know.. she might need a bit of joy and happiness at the moment!!!! Plus, might make her want to try and conceive even quicker so you guys can go through the pregnancy journey together... get on the phone!!!

[Gabi]

Of course she will feel happy for you, but she may feel a little sad for herself at the same time.

I suggest two things (having had two miscarriages) 1. Don't tell her at the time when you reach the week she was in when she lost. If she lost at 12 weeks and you are 12 weeks now, seeing you may be a little hard at the moment. 2. If you think she is quite upset, it might be a good idea to tell her via email, or letter which is more personal, so that she can have her little cry before she calls you to express her joy in your news.

My sister in law fell pregnant just after I miscarried and she called to tell me, it was all I could do to hold off the tears til the end of the conversation even though I am OVER THE MOON about her little bundle. One of my friends is pregnant now and she and I fell at the same time (with my second loss). It was hardest to see her when she got to the stage where I had lost my first. She couldn't understand why I didn't want to hang out with her that week - but knowing there was a baby growing inside her at exactle the same stage mine was when he died was tough.

[Kazbah]

I think Gabi has mentioned everything and more than I ever could -

I would just let her know so she doesn't find out second-hand.

[satya]

Tell her.

[MrsB26]

Tell her but do it in person. I just had someone who knows my history tell me in a text message and i cant say here what i said at the time i got it. She maybe a little upset but it wont be about you ifkwim. She will more than likely be over joyed with your news.

[Indadhanu]

I told her! And of course, like you all said, she is stoked!!!!!! And excited that she gets to tease my mum about being a grandma! LOL! (Mum and her are same age... 40... and have known each other since they were 6!). She seemed pretty excited!

[Enchanted]

That's fantastic!!

I was the same when I had to tell my Aunty I was pg with Oscar... I didn't know what to do. She was sad for her but ecstatic for me!

[nic]

That's great Leasha!

Nic

[pregnant and proud!]

i know from experience that'd she'll be happy for you no matter what!! a close friend fell pregnant shortly after i miscarried last year and hesitated to tell me... in the end, the only thing that affected me was that everyone else knew before i did!!!

good luck xoxo