thread: When to tell people?

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jan 2010
    Perth
    6

    Post When to tell people?

    Hello, I'm new to all this, first pregnancy, in my 10th week. DP and I were wanting to wait until after our 12 week scan to annouce it to everyone, however there are some things coming up, like a hens night (not mine!) and wedding where I will be kinda expected to drink and it would be awkward. So anyway we thought to tell people perhaps this week, so I'll just be over 10 weeks. It's not really what I wanted but I guess there is no other option, and I liked to party and have a few drinks before so people will think something is up.
    I had a scan at 8 wks 2 days and everything looked okay, HB 161, so it looks fine. What do you think my chances of a miscarriage are now? My DP is 29 and I'm 26 and both healthy so think it will be okay?
    Thanks for your help! This forum has been really helpful to me.

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Add Cupcake on Facebook

    Nov 2008
    North Haven, NSW
    3,474

    Welcome to BB!

    We never really hid it from our family & close friends; after the 12wk mark we put our U/S photo on FB and that pretty much did the rest haha. I've always thought if (god forbid) something did go wrong i'd want the support of those poeple around me anyway so why not share the news straight up and get excited hehe.

    Goodluck! If you werent wanting to tell people tho you could always make up an excuse not to drink, plenty of ladies have great ideas for excuses on here haha

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Oct 2009
    In a castle with my princesses
    1,057

    Welcome to BB!
    We waited til closer to 12 week mark also.
    Being on A/B or being designated driver can be excuses for not drinking!!

    Good luck

  4. #4
    Registered User

    May 2004
    Shepparton
    4,871

    I am now of the belief that pregnancy should be celebrated. All pregnancies take effort no matter how long or short that pregnancy is and that effort should be recognised. You can only find support from those close to you from them knowing that you are expecting a baby

    Good luck with your decision.

    xx

  5. #5
    Registered User
    Add Kazbah on Facebook Follow Kazbah On Twitter

    Sep 2006
    Dandy Ranges ;)
    7,526

    I think weddings are a celebration of life and love - if you want to share your good news then do so! I had told my parents etc at 12 weeks and everyone else at 18 weeks - but we have a history of downs in my husband's family and wanted to be sure that was all A-OK first. But at the same time, I think keeping it secret contributed to my depression ...

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    A Pirate Ship
    3,627

    Hi hayley_kate and congratulations on your pregnancy Can't you just tell people you are on antibiotics or something? It amazes me how much pressure adults feel to 'have to ' drink at a party or function! It's amazing how empowering it is to just say no for just saying no's sake iykwim You don't have to have a 'reason' not to drink but make something up if you don't want to tell people you are pregnant.

  7. #7

    Jul 2009
    Australia
    5,102

    We told everyone when it was confirmed. If we had of lost the baby we would have wanted the support rather than trying to hide it. But thats our own personal preference. I think with future children i think we will hold off a few more weeks.

    Good luck

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Sep 2005
    In the middle of nowhere
    9,362

    I have two different experiences. One where we told and then lost and one where we chose not to tell. The latter was awful because it felt so lonely with a 'secret'.

    Yell it from the rooftops I say

  9. #9
    Registered User
    Add UntoldAngel on Facebook

    Nov 2009
    Between concrete walls
    1,885

    We told my parents and sister after we did the POAS test, and that was 5weeks! We waited til the blood test confirmed to tell DP's family just to make sure... but we told my parents' straight away as it was their 25th wedding anniversary so we thought it would be a nice present. We told family and close friends once it was confirmed, then waited til 12weeks before making it 'general knowledge'
    I too have been know to enjoy a drink, and then some and it actually took people a few strange looks before they realised I wasn't 'drinking' and had a bump going on...
    Good luck and enjoy the pregnancy

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Aug 2009
    Melbourne
    4

    We told everyone when we found out...it was a bit of a surprise, and as I'd always been a drinker, couldn't be bothered hiding it. If something went wrong and we lost the baby i knew I would want the support of all my friends and family. However, if you want to wait until 12 weeks, just tell people to mind their own business if they ask why you're not drinking.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Jan 2010
    Perth
    6

    Thanks for all your replies. I've decided to wait until after the 12 weeks scan. It's easier now, as the hens thing is actually a day thing, as opposed to an over-night thing where drinking would be involved.
    I think I would tell people, but really, I don't feel pregnant at all, and I still kind of don't believe it. I have zero M/S and if it wasn't for the 8 week dating scan where I could actually see the little blob, and plus not getting AF, then I wouldn't believe it. Maybe I'm just lucky. But really, not even one bit of nausea! So I guess I'm not in the pregnancy mindset yet. Think I will be at my 12 week scan though. I hope!

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Jul 2009
    1,973

    Hi there

    congrats to u

    In the end its up to u when u tell ppl

    we waited u untill 15 weeks and told ppl then- we had scans through out as i was always having pains- everything was fine but we felt that even after out 12 week scan that we wanted to give it a few more weeks as as much as i dont like to say it , anything can still happen.

    we almost waited to tell most ppl untill after out 19th week scan

    So its up to u- u could tell close family first if u wanted and then wait for other ppl untill u feel more confident about everything go with how u feel

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,900

    If you want to wait you can come up with a good excuse like you've been sick and on medication or something.

    If it doesn't bother you go ahead and share the good news!!