Taurean, thanks hun. I did read your post yesterday but didn't have time to respond. My BOF had a terminal malfunction about a year ago and I never got around to finding a replacement... I really can't believe I am saying that I think now might be a good time to look into a replacement though!

Rytha, thank you. Your post made me think a lot about things and if nothing else made me realise that I need to process how I feel with him so that our relationship doesn't suffer long term (if that makes sense)

I think getting all of this out yesterday helped immensly - even on a subconcious level. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders just getting it out there - it no longer felt like the black cloud in the corner that no one talks about.

The good news is that it must have also changed my vibe as DP and I DTD last night - no hints from me - I had already decided to leave it be for a while but it just happened... we went to kiss goodnight and that led to more. I think that maybe the biggest thing I learnt from this... sometimes things just happen

Thank you again everyone for your support and sharing your stories. I know that DP and I still have some things to air so that it doesn't become a black cloud but by allowing me to discuss this and letting me know I wasn't the only one - I was able to feel more comfortable about the situation IYKWIM