thread: Extreme vent needed!!

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Sep 2009
    471

    You poor bugger - I completely get what you mean.

    I can't stand my In-laws and about 6 weeks ago I had 3 years worth of anger and one very pregnant/hormonal moment and let them rip with everything I'd thought of them.

    If that wasn't enough, I followed up with a 7 page letter nailing the point home.

    Suffice to say I haven't heard from them since and am very pleased about it (luckily my DH used the think the sun shone out of his parents behinds and has since seen the light)

    Take a deep breath, calmly explain things to your DP and then if it doesn't work, the minute your MIL says something out of line, firmly tell her you won't have their rudeness

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Jan 2005
    Down by the ocean
    6,110

    Um...yeah! Well if it were me I'd not wait on anyone and just sit on the couch in my knickers asking then to be a darl and make me a cup of tea

    Serioulsy you are just about to have a baby so get these self imposed house guests to help you and not the other way around.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    Victoria
    4,601

    You poor thing!! Vent away my dear.
    You are doing so well to have put up with it for this long - I couldn't even stand DH in the same room as me when I was as far as you.
    Your DF needs to understand that YOU & your baby are his family now. Yes he loves his mum, but you are his top priority. If you want to cry everyday, spend hours in the shower, not get dressed or get off your bum (which was me in the last couple of weeks of pregnancy!!) you should be able to do so.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Dec 2009
    58

    You should be resting now, not entertaining. I think it is is extremely rude of them to assume it is okay to stay in your home, especially when you are due. If it were me, I'd put my foot down and insist they seek alternative accommodation or not to come at all. And tell DF to pull his head in a grow a backbone.

  5. #5
    Registered User
    Add fionas on Facebook

    Apr 2007
    Recently treechanged to Woodend, VIC
    3,473

    If you're still not speaking to DF then write him a letter explaining how much all this is upsetting you.

    If he doesn't do anything, then tell him that he needs to chuck out his friend and tell his mum not to come and if he won't do it that you will do it as your ob has insisted that you not be put under any extra stress.

    It's really not on. You need some time to chillax and you can't do that with other people in the house. I'm exactly the same.

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Feb 2006
    South Eastern Suburbs, Vic
    6,054

    Whoa! Hugs to you. What a difficult and stressful situation to be in.

    The others suggesting that you just live as you would anyway is one option to consider.

    I think to get an 'expert opinion' from your doctor that you shouldn't have guests is a great idea if your ob will play the game!

    Can you offer to put your dh's family up at a hotel, or go halves with them price-wise?

    Do you have friends/family around where you can spend all day hanging out there? Just avoid the house as much as possible? Which you totally shouldn't have to do!!

    I suspect, if this was me and my dh absolutely would not budge, I would be packing up and moving either to a friend's house or a hotel. And if that happened, there would be no guarantee I'd be calling him when I was in labour - he'd not shown himself to be a support pre-labour so why do I think he'd be helpful in labour? I might get a friend or family member.
    I know that sounds hard-line. I guess it is, that would be my last resort, if my dh really wouldn't come to the party and put me first.

    I honestly hope your df comes to his senses and realises he has a more important mother to be looking after, and that's the mother of his own child.