I have to say, what a crappy situation to be in

Anney's right, which situation is causing you more stress? You're under a lot of stress right now, wondering what kind of scene there will be when you announce it - but at the same time you don't want them to stress you out because they know you're pregnant.

DH and I had a similar situation - although it was our wedding, not me being pg - and I got so tired and stressed out trying to please everyone that I ended up just doing whatever WE wanted, and stuffing the rest!! At the end of the day, if your extended family is going to be unsupportive, they'll do it whether they find out now or at Christmas. The only difference if you tell them now will be, you don't have to stress about it any more!

I know it is easier to type than do but you might have to just distance yourself. You have your DH and a Gremlin on the way - you don't have time to worry about others hangups. It sounds like you guys have done MORE than your fair share of trying to fix this thing, its time to just let it go.

Sending SO many congratulations to you on the Gremlin - and don't forget you have a huge, supportive, and a little bit nutty family here on BB