thread: Feeling deflated ...

  1. #1
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    Sep 2007
    South Gippsland
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    Feeling deflated ...

    I am sure there are others out there and this is not so much a whinge or a vent in fact i dunno what it is

    I feel really deflated about this pregnancy. I am really happy we're expecting again but its so weird this flatness about this pregnancy.

    Niki's was traumatic and short
    DD's was intense and stressful and full on with appointments

    And this one is ...... well Normal.

    Its nice to know that my body is capable and I am able to relax into it, its sad because I know it will be our last baby, I know that it will be another girl and that I will never have a little boy (nothing wrong with that but I always dreamed of one of each).

    I have little to shop for maybe 5 things at best.

    Dh is less than enthusiastic about it and we haven't even started talking about what we'll call it or anything. Yes I know its still early days but everything is just so blah ......

    Has anyone else experienced this?

    Did it get better????

    Nae x x

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    country victoria
    1,055

    Yes can say I'm experiencing it with this pregnancy. It is very much a planned pregnancy and as you can see I have 3 little boys, I think I'm just deflated cos everyone thinks we went back for the girl, I'm certain I'm having another boy (not that it bothers me) but like you there is nothing really to do, we don't really discuss names, if it is a boy there is really nothing much to buy. From memory though I do think with the 2nd trimester of my 3rd pregnancy I struggled a bit during this stage where you aren't feeling much or any movement etc. When I feel bubs move and kick I think that is when I connect to it more.

    Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly for you.

  3. #3
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    Sep 2007
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    Thanks Megs - and for you too.

    Its such a bizzare thing isn't it LOL after I posted I think I did feel a little flutter which was nice. Its not all bad mind you and I am genuinely thrilled to have another baby on the way, its just the weird sense of "nothing to do for this baby" LOL

    Are you planning on finding out the sex or will you just wait??

    Nae x

  4. #4
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    Feb 2007
    In the jungle.
    4,809

    Nae I was a bit the same, I spent many a time during the pregnancy wondering if we'd done the right thing. Maybe 2 was enough. Maybe I should have tried hard to gender sway. Maybe , maybe, maybe.
    I didn't get particularly attached during the pregnancy, I just really wanted it over.

    BUT....I am now so over the moon and in love with my third beautiful daughter I wonder how I could have ever doubted it. Everything changes when you can hold them, see them and smell them.

    It's ok to not be thrilled about your pregnancy, even though it is planned and very much wanted.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jul 2008
    summer street
    2,708

    I was a bit flat early on with DS. I think its because once you've done it all before, there's nothing to really write home about yk? My midwife suggested I get those emails which track the baby's devlopment, or start prenatal yoga or something...I never did either of those things, but sure enough I grew more and more into it each day. In fact I just started imagining life with a second baby, which really, really helped with the practicalities of ds. I think the time for sitting in the sun, marvelling at the pregnant belly is very much associated with first time pregnancy, and the rest become a bit more 'normal'...just as they should be really! By 36 weeks though I recommend you hold a blessingway, or mothers circle, so you can marvel in yourself as a birthing goddess and start visualising the birth. As for now, just try and rest as much as possible.

  6. #6
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    Thanks JM I guess because I have never known a normal pregnancy until now it seems strange LOL ooohhh I LURVE the smell of baby that sweet sweet newborn smell ... sooo looking forard to that LOL.

    Great Idea Arcadia, a blessing or mothers circle sound really interesting, can you tell me more about them and what they involve?

    I have to say the woman I consider my bestie and my soul sister is also pregnant, she is with her first, she and her hubby are soooo excited (as you would expect). Its funny that we have fallen pregnant pretty much at the same time. We have drifted apart quite a bit but still care for each other dearly itms, so this will be lovely to rekindle our freindship and share a special bond during a special time. THAT is something in itself.

    So there are good things, lots of them in fact ... its just hard doing normal for a change

    Nae x

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    country victoria
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    NaeNae, i have the scan next Friday, I think we will be finding out but keeping it a secret. I'm actually more concerned about DH if it is another boy, he so has his heart set on a little girl. I think I have in my mind dealt witht he fact that it is a boy and its all good. In some ways I would love to have the courage and wait til the birth but I honestly think my mind would go nuts constantly analysing every little thing.

    Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better, it will all connect just takes a bit longer thats all. And before you know it you will be holding your little one in your arms and missing the joys of feeling you baby in your stomach (I know I do I really miss the kicks)

  8. #8
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    May 2006
    Igglepiggle Land
    2,742

    I felt the same with #3 until I hit the 30 wk mark and started going thru clothes, wiping down the baby rocker / cot etc.

    I found the need to go and buy some special little outfits, just so Dd2 would have at least a few things that weren't hand me downs. I also bought a few personalized items with her name on it etc as I had everything I needed...

    But I think shopping for the new baby increased my excitement and I quickly changed my outlook .

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    in the ning nang nong
    12,163

    I've not been in your shoes, and don't want to presume to know what you're going through ...

    but I will because there will be others who can empathise

    I hope things improve xoxo

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Sep 2006
    951

    Oh I can completely understand!! With DS it was wonderful and exciting (scary at the start), DD we had too many stress's in our life and DH and I hardly talked!! He only got interested towards the end and we shared an amazing water birth....... Just found out that we are pregnant with number 3 and we are both stoked and plan to communicate more with each other and enjoy it as this will be our last buba....
    Could you try talking DH about how you are feeling? Could maybe -if possible you and DH go away for the weekend and rekindle the excitement and magic of growing a buba??

    Don't be hard on yourself beautiful it will happen xox

  11. #11
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    Thanks ladies

    Chepie - we would love a weekend away but there is no way we can afford it let alone leave DD with anyone as she still BFs to sleep. Its a great idea though. I talked to Dh the other day because I was getting upset that he doesn't seemt he least bit interested he just brushed it off and said that he is cautiously optimistic about it all. I asked him if he was sad that its our last pregnancy and he isn't ........ I am but he cannot understand why no matter how hard I try to explain it.

    I am still feeling meh about it cannot wait until it gets bigger and i can really feel it wriggling. I guess his lack of excitement is kind of rubbing off onto me too LOL.

    My bestie is on holidays next week and I am really looking ofrward to catching up with her they are so over the moon they are pregnant I am hoping some of their excitment will rub off a little

    Thanks everyone luvs you all x x x x

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    U.S.A
    1,459

    Oh NaeNae....I know exactly how you feel!

    In fact I sort of have this guilty feeling that I am not as over-the-moon excited like I was with DD...I just feel sort of like I am not sure if this was a good idea and just as you put it..deflated

    Maybe we should start a thread.. "Pregnant and Blah "

  13. #13
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    Sep 2007
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    Maybe we should start a thread.. "Pregnant and Blah "
    I love this comment!!

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Mar 2011
    Melbourne
    948

    i was actually deflated in my 3rd for a different reason
    1st all new and exciting
    2nd little girl something different (plus so busy)
    i had 2 perfect pregnancys felt totally awesome
    figured 3rd time round would be the same

    but i had a hard time and ended up as higher risk and having a tramatic birth
    my 3rd is my last so i was upset it didnt go my way (i wanted to enjoy every min like i did with my first 2)
    but holding my bubs made it worth it (helps also his a perfect bubba)

    wishing you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy xoxox